Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets ~ I have been waiting for this flick since my brother-in-law hipped me to it several months back.  We're both, as are millions of others, fans of another Luc Bessom film, The Fifth Element, a movie which thematically and visually Valerian resembles.  Based on that, we were psyched, as well we should have been.  This is a stunning film, with two major problems that spoiled it for me.  Still, by all means, you should see this movie.  It's a popcorn blockbuster and a treat for the eyes, and yes, 3-D is recommended if available, I don't say this often, but it’s worth it.

Based on the French/Belgian comic series Valerian and Laureline, and therein lies one of my problems with this flick.  There are two lead protagonists in this film, and yet only the male one gets title billing.  Laureline is just as much a lead and a hero, in some cases a better hero than Valerian, and yet, where is her name in the title?  Besson, and whoever else might be responsible, should have kept to the source material on this one point. 

What aggravates this seemingly small point is that this is Luc Besson, a man who in previous films like Lucy, The Messenger, La Femme Nikita, The Professional, Kiss of the Dragon, and especially The Fifth Element, has presented strong female protagonists in empowered roles. Laureline is still a strong female protagonist, yet relegated to a back seat and no billing in the movie version of the comic in which she at least gets second. Disappointing.

The other problem I have with Valerian is the actor in the titular lead role of this flick, Dane DeHaan.  He is at best a Reggie in a movie that requires an Archie.  And anyone who has seen him in Chronicle or the painful The Amazing Spider-Man 2, knows that his mischievous eyes and sneering grin are far more applicable to villainous roles than heroic.  Often here he comes off as disingenuous or hiding something.  It's just in his face and his manner - I was never able to fully trust him as the hero.  Couple this with the character's less than stellar romantic streak, and he's definitely not your usual white hat. 

And while DeHaan tries earnestly to be the hero he was cast as, Cara Delevingne pulls it off easily as Laureline, despite her previous roles.  She was in the critically acclaimed Paper Towns, and also recently and more notably played the creepy Enchantress from Suicide Squad - or was she just Junie Moon, I forget, either way, both roles were creepy.  And yet, I believe her more as the hero that DeHaan should have been. Also in the mix are Herbie Hancock, Ethan Hawke, and Rihanna shining as a shapeshifting pole dancer.

Don't get me wrong and bunch me in with the other critics who inexplicably didn't like this flick, because I loved it despite the problems I had with it. Valerian is fast-paced, exciting, fun, and visually stunning. The aliens are a spectacular special effects triumph blending Besson's Fifth Element sensibilities with Avatar caliber realism. The story of two federal agents in the future uncovering the mystery of a lost civilization in the future is as refreshing as it is simplistic, and highly watchable.

I had problems, yes, but they didn't affect the wonder and amazement I felt watching this movie. This is top of the line science fiction adventure, and if I'm being honest, I wish recent Star Wars flicks had a bit more of this and were less powered by nostalgia. Valerian is a great flick, recommended.

Beauty and the Beast 2017

Beauty and the Beast ~ This is yet another of Disney's unnecessary live action remakes.  I don't see the point of these honestly, unless of course they are told from a different point of view entirely like Maleficent, or completely different as in the Tim Burton Alice films.  While Cinderella did answer some questions from the animated feature (as does this one), I found it ultimately dismal, and what could have been the best part of The Jungle Book was left on the cutting room floor (Scarlet Johansson's "Trust in Me").

I was very wary of the new Beauty and the Beast.  Not only was the original an Oscar nominated and winning classic of Disney's new animation age, it could have been decidedly difficult to animate.  In fact, the scenes I had seen in previews of the castle objects come to life, like Lumiere and Cogsworth, did not impress me. 

The casting worried me as well.  Hermione Granger? I'm not saying that Emma Watson is typecast but she would have to go a long way to make me believe she is anyone but Hermione, and as hard as she tries here, Emma never comes off as anything but playacting as Belle.  Honestly all of the roles are very solidly in most of our minds from the animated feature, it's hard to envision anyone else in those spots. 

The animated objects in the original are charming cartoons but here the CGI versions come off as a bit creepy, just to the left of Tim Burton.  We love those cartoon characters but the new ones are impressive yet cold and inhuman.  Similarly the music is also impersonal and feels very much like artificial or karaoke covers. 

Don't get me wrong, the live action Beauty and the Beast is a good movie, heck, it might even be a great movie for those who have never seen the classic original, but for me, the best it will ever be is a pale and ill wrought imitation.  Worth seeing only for the curious and the hardcore Disney fan only.

Pirates of the Caribbean, Again?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ~ How many of these things are there? I understand the desire to move away from numbers in franchise titles as the Marvel movies do, and decades before with James Bond and Godzilla, but here with the Pirates movies I can't tell one from another, and it hurts my desire to see them, as I might get the continuity mixed up. I don't even know if this is movie number four, five, or six. Shouldn't that (and I'm not the only one with these questions) bother the folks in charge?

Of course the idea that Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow has rarely been either protagonist or antagonist in these films makes the storytelling difficult and therefore the continuity hard to follow. And Depp is no longer the sweetheart, matinee idol, and box office draw he used to be, so it might be advantageous for the studio to make some definitive decisions about this franchise, or just end it.

This one is set several years after the last one, whichever one that was, and still revolves around Captain Jack Sparrow. This time his compass unlocks the curse of the Devil's Triangle, and the Flying Dutchman, and the Trident of Poseidon, and whatever other kitchen sink mumbo jumbo McGuffins were needed for this mess of a movie. But honestly that's not fair, it's only Depp that makes the film unwatchable.

They try very hard to make a good movie, with a convincing plot, and believable performances, and stunning special effects - but every moment that Johnny Depp is onscreen it becomes a politically incorrect cartoon, that after a while, becomes frankly insulting. The character is annoying, sexist, and takes the focus off the story and the rest of the cast. Disney is removing the 'we wants the redhead' sequence from their Pirates ride, how about getting rid of the alcoholic misogynist Captain Jack as well?

As I said, the effects of the ghosts of the Triangle are quite amazing, and so are the undead sharks, even though I am so sure there was a board meeting where someone stood up and said two words with a grin on their face, "zombie sharks," and immediately got this flick greenlighted. All that aside, the undead sharks are freaking cool.

The Paul McCartney cameo where he sings "Maggie Mae" seemed way out of place, but I'm glad they got it over early and quick. Geoffrey Rush, Kaya Scodelario, and Javier Bardem were terrific when not being upstaged by Depp, but the real stars here are the effects and the event status of the flick. Blink and you're miss Paul McCartney singing "Maggie Mae." Attempts are made to tie up many of the loose ends from the previous three or four movies, but don't forget to stay for the after-credits scene that hints at a certain villain's return.

All in all, this was a bit too long, but was entertaining, and would have been a lot better without Johnny Depp. His time in the spotlight has long ago moved on.

Vertigo

Vertigo ~ On the last TCM Classic Cruise I saw Spellbound and didn't like it.  Yeah, I know, save it for someone who cares.  Anyway, at the start of this Cruise I saw Vertigo on the schedule and my addled mind got them confused, so I didn't go.  I regretted it after I realized that Vertigo was not Spellbound.  So when the second chance to see it popped up, I jumped on it.  No Kim Novak introduction this time, but still I got to see it on the big screen, and really, how can you beat that?  That aspect even made Vertigo better for me. 

Vertigo is one of Alfred Hitchcock's crowning achievements, and while I had seen it decades ago, it was at a time before remastering, before the restored soundtrack, and most importantly at a time when I had little appreciation for film, and only a black and white TV.  Believe me, that makes a world of difference.  For 1958, this film is brilliant, and for 2016, it's still brilliant. 

In this complex plot of deception and mistaken identity, Jimmy Stewart plays Scotty, an ex-detective with vertigo caused by acrophobia.  He's hired by an old friend to trail his wife, played by Kim Novak.  Things get even more complicated when Stewart falls in love with his target, and the madness spirals from there. 

The film not only features Stewart and Novak in some of their best performances, but has a (pardon the pun) spellbinding score, and masterful special effects enhancing the fear of heights and dizziness felt by the character Scotty.  The remastered vibrant 1950s technicolor also gives the visuals that extra kick. 

I love Vertigo, and after seeing it in this format, I love it more.  Now I'm kicking myself of course for missing it the first time with the introduction by Kim Novak.  Recommended, a must-see classic, it's not Spellbound. 

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ~ For a kid, tales of Jules Verne, and especially Captain Nemo, just fire the imagination, and this film has always been a grail for me in this way. I of course had read the books, but I had seen the movie Mysterious Island, with its great Ray Harryhausen effects, first, with Nemo as a peripheral character and yet so large - I wanted more. When I finally saw the 1954 Disney version of the real Nemo saga, I was thrilled.

Originally imagined as an animated feature over a decade before, Walt Disney eventually decided to make the move to live-action with this story, investing much in special effects, and winning Academy Awards for the effort. Coupled with an all-star cast - James Mason, Peter Lorre, and Kirk Douglas - this was a sure-fire hit, although the truth is it took several re-issues to get its money back. Either way, it remains a pinnacle of the genre, inspiring generations, just as the source material of Jules Verne did.

I got the chance to see this on the big screen recently at the 2016 TCM Classic Cruise, and it was introduced by Craig Barron and Ben Burtt, two of the men behind the special effects on the Star Wars movies, who were also spurred by this film to become the SPFX wizards they are today. The boys gave a 30-minute presentation about the making of the film, the special effects, and the miniatures, which was fantastic, featuring footage from the Disney vaults never before seen.

The cast is simply stunning, with James Mason as the prototypical Bond villain a good decade before they really hit the screen, as Captain Nemo. The camaraderie between Douglas and Lorre, and Douglas and Esmeralda the seal too, as a matter of fact make this a buddy movie before its time as well. Kirk Douglas' Ned Land is flamboyant, loud, and lovable, and we do love him, and root for this hero throughout the movie. We love him so much that the wonderfully addictive and simultaneously obnoxious "Whale of a Tale" song is even excusable. You will be humming it for days after seeing it.

Highly recommended, a classic Disney adventure that we have rarely seen since.

Konga

Konga ~ Now I've written a little bit about this movie before over at Biff Bam Pop! as part of my review of the Charlton Comics monsters, all of which were originally from film. Konga as a comic lasted over five years and included art by the amazing Steve Ditko, co-creator of Spider-Man and Doctor Strange, among many others.

The movie, also tragically known as I Was a Teenage Gorilla, was made in 1961. Konga stars a young Michael Gough, who folks probably know better as Alfred in the 1990s Batman film franchise. He brings a proper English elegance to what is pretty obvious crap, and even manages decorum while stark raving mad. He's good and the movie is bad. Konga is even filmed in "SpectaMation," a made up gimmick to lure folks into theaters.

Here's the gist: an explorer brings a baby gorilla and some man-eating plants back from the Ugandan jungle, then goes a little mad. He uses a serum from the plants to grow the chimp, Konga, to man size, then commands him to kill his enemies. Then later, after a super dose of the serum, Konga grows to giant size for some real (and cheap, even by kaiju eiga standards) monster action and rampage in London.

Besides the cheaper than usual effects, there are a couple things that set Konga apart from its Japanese cousins. The English crowds, rather than run from the monster, politely stand and watch. Also when the police are alerted to the presence of a giant monster ape, they immediately believe, and call the war department. That's a far cry from flicks like The Blob and other teenage scifi flicks of the decade previous.

Gough carries the film despite a cast that tries very hard. He remains interesting even while the titular ape takes the screen, something unusual for this genre. The giant monster scenes are sad, due to the ridiculous gorilla suit, but it's worth seeing for Gough. Although watch out for the disturbing cat scene early on. The comics are much better.

A Double Shot of Thunder

Thor: Hammer of the Gods ~ When I first saw this one on Netflix I thought for sure it was another Thor rip-off like Almighty Thor by The Asylum, but no, seriously this 2009 made for TV film is something else. Granted, it aired on SyFy, which is where most Asylum flicks end up, and obviously the concept was meant to cash in on the Marvel films based on the comics character and the Norse myth, but this has a little more depth than a copycat rip-off.

Here Thor is a Viking leading an expedition to a legendary land where he and his followers are set upon by monstrous beasts. Thor also has visions of a past life where it seems he was the god Thor, and he fought Fenris and the Midgard Serpent, children of the trickster god, Loki. See, it's a different mindset, and ends up being more Sinbad than superhero. Low budget, but well done, I really kinda dug this.

Adventures of Thunderstorm The Return of Thor ~ This movie has quite possibly the longest scrolling text intro I have ever seen, boring me into submission even before the actual movie has begun. It doesn't get any better after that. This nearly zero budget flick is bad, and in this case, amateur hour lasts an hour and twenty-five minutes.

Unlike Hammer of the Gods, this is a present day superhero movie, and weirdly more Iron Man than Thor. Cultists/terrorists are trying to bring about Ragnarok so the Norse gods, specifically Thor, send a little power Earthward to some schmuck scientist with a battlesuit to fight off the evildoers. The suit even comes with a hammer.

The acting is abysmal, the writing is worse, and the special effects are down there too. This is one of those that I watched so you won't have to. Avoid at all costs.

RA-One

RA-One ~ This film has a lot in common with the recently reviewed Enthiran - The Robot. And while it follows Enthiran, and exists within the same continuity, it is not a sequel. Much the way the solo Avengers films led into the main Avengers movie, Chitti the Robot makes a cameo here. Being a comic book fan, I'm a sucker for universe building, and that's exactly what Tamil science fiction is doing - creating a cinematic superhero universe.

The story here is nothing new really, derivative, but still original enough, and made magical by CGI and various other animation techniques. A videogame designer creates the ultimate super-villain, RA-One, for a virtual reality videogame where the player becomes the hero G-One to fight him. Like Enthiran, there are dazzling and mindboggling special effects, but at its core is a touching father and son story, that of the designer and his son.

Things go awry when RA-One gains sentience, and the designer must become G-One to stop him from destroying the real world. The battle sequences between G-One and RA-One are phenomenal. It is just amazing to me how other cultures seem to know better how to use American superhero concepts cinematically than most American filmmakers.

Like most Bollywood films, this has everything - action, comedy, romance, a couple if very scary moments, and of course terrific musical sequences. I really liked this film a lot, great videogame and comic book sensibilities, and like Enthiran, I bought the soundtrack as soon as I was done watching it the first time. Great fun.

Enthiran - The Robot

Enthiran - The Robot ~ This is a film whose reputation precedes it. Called the Avatar of its country, reputedly this is the most expensive film made to date in India, and also its highest grossing film. Not strictly a Bollywood film, but more accurately a 'Kollywood' film as it was made in Tamil Nadu, it is s work of science fiction, but as with all Indian films, it is truly a creature of mixed genre.

Also known as Robot, and Robo, and Enthiran, and a dozen other titles and spelling variations worldwide, this is roughly a Frankenstein story - a scientist makes a man in his own image, scarily Elvis-like, which tries to be human but eventually is looked upon as monster. The Robot, Chitti, is played by award winning veteran Indian actor Rajinikanth, who also plays his creator. His deadpan performance as the Robot is both fearsome and hilarious.

Written and directed by Shankar Shanmugam, or simply Shankar, the film has changed the way the world views Indian science fiction. And as the film is called the Avatar of India, similarly Shankar is called its James Cameron. No doubt he is one of their greatest visionaries.

The music is by A.R. Rahman, who also did the music for Slumdog Millionaire, Couples Retreat, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, and dozens of Indian movies, among others - but this soundtrack was a worldwide instant blockbuster. That's the popularity power of this flick.



The real star here is the special effects. CGI and animatronics from a company called Legacy Effects, the brain child of special effects wizard Stan Winston. From the robotics that make up our hero to the evil robot rampage to the outrageous cartoonish but reality based feats later in the film, as the evil robot fights everyone, and of course, the climax, the effects are king. More cars and guns than you have perhaps ever seen on the screen. Mind boggling. Matrix and Terminator, step aside.



This movie has everything. Adventure, romance, comedy, musical sequences, violence - both cartoonish and realistic (lots of gunplay and a very scary and racially offensive attempted rape scene, so it's not for the kids), it's all here. In many ways it's a superhero movie sans costumes. This three hour long Tamil science fiction masterpiece, like Avatar, must be experienced at least once. Recommended.

The Wolfman

The Wolfman ~ This 2010 remake of the Universal classic has so much going for it - a script by Andrew Kevin Walker, a novelization by Jonathan Maberry, and a phenomenal score by Danny Elfman that features an almost Jaws-like opening. I was surprised and liked it however, it didn't knock my socks off.

Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins are at best adequate in subtly over the top roles that require their level of talent to pull off and yet neither steps up to the plate. Rick Baker's make-up effects are stunning, and they should be - the original flick is what made him want to do make-up in the first place. He's come full circle.

Speaking of the original, this is a fairly tight remake. The Walker script has lots of nods and winks here. I especially like the reference to the actual French werewolf murders at Gevaudan, and the brief glimpse of topiary animals a la Stephen King's book "The Shining." And the asylum scenes are very brutal.

This remake is very moody, very atmospheric, and unfortunately very dark. A light here or there wouldn't hurt, folks. You have the care going with everything else, you don't need the dark to help you - especially when it hinders the visuals. And as far as visuals go, the climax is quite impressive. Check it out.