Pirates of the Caribbean, Again?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales ~ How many of these things are there? I understand the desire to move away from numbers in franchise titles as the Marvel movies do, and decades before with James Bond and Godzilla, but here with the Pirates movies I can't tell one from another, and it hurts my desire to see them, as I might get the continuity mixed up. I don't even know if this is movie number four, five, or six. Shouldn't that (and I'm not the only one with these questions) bother the folks in charge?

Of course the idea that Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow has rarely been either protagonist or antagonist in these films makes the storytelling difficult and therefore the continuity hard to follow. And Depp is no longer the sweetheart, matinee idol, and box office draw he used to be, so it might be advantageous for the studio to make some definitive decisions about this franchise, or just end it.

This one is set several years after the last one, whichever one that was, and still revolves around Captain Jack Sparrow. This time his compass unlocks the curse of the Devil's Triangle, and the Flying Dutchman, and the Trident of Poseidon, and whatever other kitchen sink mumbo jumbo McGuffins were needed for this mess of a movie. But honestly that's not fair, it's only Depp that makes the film unwatchable.

They try very hard to make a good movie, with a convincing plot, and believable performances, and stunning special effects - but every moment that Johnny Depp is onscreen it becomes a politically incorrect cartoon, that after a while, becomes frankly insulting. The character is annoying, sexist, and takes the focus off the story and the rest of the cast. Disney is removing the 'we wants the redhead' sequence from their Pirates ride, how about getting rid of the alcoholic misogynist Captain Jack as well?

As I said, the effects of the ghosts of the Triangle are quite amazing, and so are the undead sharks, even though I am so sure there was a board meeting where someone stood up and said two words with a grin on their face, "zombie sharks," and immediately got this flick greenlighted. All that aside, the undead sharks are freaking cool.

The Paul McCartney cameo where he sings "Maggie Mae" seemed way out of place, but I'm glad they got it over early and quick. Geoffrey Rush, Kaya Scodelario, and Javier Bardem were terrific when not being upstaged by Depp, but the real stars here are the effects and the event status of the flick. Blink and you're miss Paul McCartney singing "Maggie Mae." Attempts are made to tie up many of the loose ends from the previous three or four movies, but don't forget to stay for the after-credits scene that hints at a certain villain's return.

All in all, this was a bit too long, but was entertaining, and would have been a lot better without Johnny Depp. His time in the spotlight has long ago moved on.

Remembering Adam West

This one hit me hard, folks, and I learned about it much the same way I had heard that John Lennon was dead. I awoke the next morning to my radio playing Beatles song after Beatles song, thinking what a great way to start the morning, with Beatles music.

For Adam West, it was similar, happy to sad. I had just spent a terrific day with The Bride at EPCOT, we were getting on the bus, and I checked my phone, hitting Facebook. I saw a really cool picture I'd seen before - my good friend Andy Burns, our friend JP Fallavollita, and Andy's daughter (in fierce Wonder Woman cosplay) standing in front of the Batmobile (the real Batmobile) with, you guessed it, Adam West and Burt Ward. I was jealous the first time I saw the picture, and jealous this time, so I posted as much. I was in a good mood, and then I saw other Facebook posts on my feed… Adam West had passed away at the age of 88. I was crushed. It was if my childhood had dropped out from under me. I was staggered by this for a couple days. It couldn't be true.

My earliest memory regards an incident in my family first house.  I was around two and stepped on a heating grate burning my foot.  I don't remember any of that, but what I vividly do recall is my brother giving me a toy Batmobile to get me to stop crying.  At our second house shortly after that the room I shared with my big brother had only two things on the walls: a Detroit Lions pennant and a picture of Batman.  I have talked before about the 1966-69 "Batman" TV series starring Adam West being the gateway drug to comics for not only myself, but for an entire generation.  In many ways, my childhood has taken a hell of a hit. 

Adam West as Batman affects me to this day.  This past weekend I thought of him on three different occasions before learning of his passing.  Andy's photo on Facebook was one.  I saw Return of the Caped Crusaders on Blu-Ray in a store and I thought I needed to own it sooner or later.  And at EPCOT on the Test Track ride, I deliberately tried to design a car just like the Batmobile. 

Other than his wild global success as Batman, Adam West had a pretty rough life, battling depression, alcoholism, and typecasting.  It wasn't until he came to terms with always being remembered as Batman that things turned around for him. Gone were the days of getting shot out of a cannon and doing terrible pilots like "The Precinct."  Batman could overcome anything.  His unique deadpan camp humor even found a home on "Family Guy," conquering a whole new television generation. I even met him once, great guy.

Adam got the Batman gig after producers saw him playing a James Bond parody for Nestle Quik commercials.  Ironically he would be considered for the role of the real Bond years later.  He beat Lyle Waggoner for the title role on "Batman," who probably would not have been able to pull it off.  Batman would take over the world – Adam West himself has been quoted as saying that the sixties were all about the three Bs - Beatles, Bond, and Batman - and it's true.  And "Batman" would not have worked without West.  He was the only choice. 

West had done other things, movies like Mara of the Wilderness, Robinson Crusoe on Mars, and Poor Devil all of which I loved, and are recommended, but he always returned to Batman, whether it was on "Superfriends," the 1970s Filmation "Batman," as the Grey Ghost, Back to the Batcave, or the aforementioned Return of the Caped Crusaders. 

Adam West passed away on Saturday after a short battle with leukemia, he was 88.  In my mind and in my heart, he will live forever as the only Batman that counts.  We have lost a true legend, and the Bat-Signal burns for you, my friend. 

Straight Outta Compton

Straight Outta Compton ~ I find it hard to believe that this film was so ignored by the Oscars. The #OscarsSoWhite controversy becomes crystal clear for anyone who has seen Straight Outta Compton as it should have garnered multiple nominations for Best Actor and Supporting Actor, as well as Best Film, Best Director, and that's not even mentioning the various music and sound categories. What the hell happened here?

Besides that incomprehensible omission, Straight Outta Compton is obviously the biography of N.W.A., and specifically Easy-E, Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre. Yeah, I know, there are more members of the group, including the one the film completely ignores, but let's face it, if you make a movie about the Beatles, you're really only focusing on John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Big guns only, ya know?

The film is amazing. I can't say enough about the performances by Jason Mitchell, Corey Hawkins, O'Shea Jackson Jr., Ice Cube's son, playing the young Ice Cube, and Paul Giamatti as evil promoter Jerry Heller. The music is fantastic, a time capsule of the 1990s and how N.W.A. changed hip hop and rap into something harder and more real, a sound of the street, and specifically Los Angeles in a time of violence.

Again however, omission seems to be a theme when it comes to Straight Outta Compton. With the real Ice Cube and Dr, Dre, as well as Easy-E's widow as producers on the flick, one might assume they want to sweep any dirty laundry under the rug. There are very few women in the movie, save Carra Patterson, who aren't just there for the party or the sex. And no mention is made of Dre's numerous domestic violence charges against women.

All that aside, this is a brilliant film, must-see for folks into N.W.A. and the music of the time, a true time capsule, and a terrific movie.

The Silverball Museum

After seeing this place on the New Jersey episode of "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown" (which we talked about on The GAR Podcast right here), I just knew it would be the perfect place to surprise The Bride with. So the following Sunday, we embarked on a mystery road trip to the Silverball Museum Arcade in Asbury Park NJ.

Set on the Boardwalk, this place is an old-fashioned arcade, just like the kind that used to be around in the 1970s and 80s. Dominated by pinball machines from every era, there were a handful of videogames and even a few skeeball lanes as well, there are well over two hundred amusements there. Each pinball machine had a placard over it detailing its history, completing the museum concept, the perfect please-touch interactive museum. We paid a small flat fee and were able to play any machine we wanted for a couple hours, which was awesome.

The variety of pinball machines was incredible, as I mentioned they spanned several decades. There were licensed properties like "The Sopranos," "The Simpsons," Star Trek, Indiana Jones, Rocky, "Doctor Who" (featuring all the Doctors, including a paper doll of Peter Capaldi some true fan must have added), "Charlie's Angels," Elvira, even Playboy, and my favorite, one based on the 1994 film version of The Shadow.

There were pinball machines featuring made-up superheroes like Capt. Card, Golden Arrow, and Fireball. They had music-based machines like Beat Time with the Beatles, and Capt. Fantastic with Elton John, as well as KISS from 1979 and Ted Nugent from 1978. The actual soundtrack of pinball must be Journey because we heard four of their songs on the overheard speakers in the two hours we were at the Silverball Museum. The Bride was in heaven - pinball and Journey.

Some of the videogame machines were not just one game, but many in one. One could say that even though the machines were few in number, some had entire arcades from the 1980s in them that one could choose from. I was sad to learn that I have completely and embarrassingly unlearned everything I know about playing Mario Bros., Joust, Gyruss, Road Blasters, Elevator Action, and other games I used to be good at and play for hours, but I still have it with Qix, Galaxian, Galaga, and Tempest. Among the pinball games I played were old favorite Flash from 1979 and one I didn't remember, the new wave looking Oxo, which was ironically from 1973.

They also had many of the pinball machines that had gimmicks, like Whirlwind, which had a fan on top of it that blew a pleasant breeze when you hit the right combination. Folks with memories might recall that arcades weren't usually well ventilated or air-conditioned, so this was cool for a couple of reasons. The aforementioned Shadow game had a pistol to shoot the ball, which would have been cool if it had more power behind it. And Demolition Man had guns for flippers, plus regular buttons on the side for folks who think that's dumb, which would be all of us.

All in all, it was a terrific afternoon, we even had fries! We're already planning a return trip.

Chinese Gods

Chinese Gods ~ This one is another film lost to the legal video/DVD generation, and in most cases, like with me and Dead Is Dead or Poor Devil, is one some folks are unsure they remember correctly or perhaps remember seeing at all. Sometimes known as Chinese Gods, or The Story of Chinese Gods, or simply the unlikely Bruce Lee cartoon, its real title is Pang Shen Feng.

Created in 1976, with a character drawn to look like Bruce Lee, I first discovered this on Saturday afternoons in the early eighties where it invariably showed up as part of the martial arts flicks on UHF. I have to wonder what the regular kung fu and Shaw Bros. fans made of this animated feature mixed in with their standard fare.

The simply animated film, with old school anime flair and just a touch of Yellow Submarine surrealism, loosely strings together a handful of tales from Chinese mythology into one story full of bizarre visuals and wild martial arts fight sequences. Be warned ahead of time, this is not for kids. There are adult themes and concepts, and quite a bit of violence and sexual innuendo, even blood and a bit of nudity.

Chinese Gods starts a little slow, but once the strange creatures, monsters, and demons start showing up, it gets quite good. I remember being so entranced with one such beast - the nine-tailed fox - that I wrote it up and used it against my players in a Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Here the nine-tailed fox gives Bruce Lee a run for his money.

The one fighter with third eye bears more than a passing resemblance to Bruce Lee. This homage was obviously well meaning and long labored as it's very close to the real thing. From poses to fighting stances and styles, this Bruce Lee, and it's a hoot to see him not just in period garb, but also fighting magical creatures. It takes a downturn however when he becomes a dragon, not a cool dragon, mind you, but more like Pete's Dragon.

There's also the half-naked kid who flies by riding fiery wheels on his feet. Did I mention how surreal yet cool this flick is? I thought Chinese Gods stood the test of time and was well worth seeing again. It's definitely available on YouTube here, and might also be on out of print VHS or bootleg DVD. Good but surreal fun.

Joe Cocker Dead at 70

Singer/songwriter Joe Cocker has passed away after a prolonged battle with lung cancer. He was 70.

This is embarrassing but I knew of the man for a long time before I ever saw or heard him. In the comics of my youth there were those Columbia Record Club ads which always included Mad Dogs and Englishmen, and I experienced John Belushi doing Joe on "Saturday Night Live" long before I ever saw the real thing. And the real thing was unique, powerful, and wonderful.

Joe Cocker had his own style, was his own man, and although he only had a handful of hits, they were amazing epic musical triumphs. His cover of the Beatles' "With a Little Help from my Friends" may well be one of those rare covers better than the original. He's worked with some of the best in the business over his forty-plus year career and will be missed. We've lost one of the legends.

Pop Gear

Pop Gear ~ Known in the United States as Go Go Mania, Pop Gear was an attempt to fill the yearning for British Invasion acts on the big screen in early 1965. Released between A Hard Day's Night and Help!, this flick presented a plethora of Brit bands and performers, and even opened with the Beatles performing "She Loves You" (there's one for the trivia buffs, the Fab Four's second filmwasn't really Help!).

Also on tap for performances were the Animals, the Spencer Davis Group, the Nashville Teens, Peter and Gordon, Billie Davis, and Herman's Hermits, among others too obscure to mention. The whole shindig was emceed by the now notorious Jimmy Savile, deejay and then host of "Top of the Pops." Years later, after his death, hundreds of charges of child sexual abuse and rape would emerge, soiling his reputation for the ages.

Pop Gear was what was known as a revue film, simply a series of performances by different acts, introduced by Sir Jimmy. Highlights included Eric Burdon and the Animals doing "House of the Rising Sun" and "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," Peter Noone and Herman's Hermits doing "I'm Into Something Good," the Nashville Teens doing "Tobacco Road," and watching little Stevie Winwood rock and roll with the Spencer Davis Group.

Throw in some odd dance numbers, out of place crooner Matt Munro, and more newsreel footage of the Beatles, and that's the movie. Worth watching for nostalgia and some of the great bits mentioned above.

A Hard Day's Night

A Hard Day's Night ~ Confession time. Up until very recently, I had never seen A Hard Day's Night in its entirety. It came out in theaters again during my senior year of high school, and I'd asked a girl I liked (and who liked the Beatles as well) to go, and she turned me down. I never got to see it, then or later. See, what rejection will do to a guy, girls? It will stunt one's cinematic and musical growth.

Over and above the wonderful Beatles soundtrack, it's really quite a good film. Director Richard Lester allows the individual Beatles' personality shine through past the script of Alun Owen, and the charisma of the boys overpowers easily. The film supposedly depicts a day in the life of the Beatles, and feels very unscripted despite the facts. The charm of the boys, along with the music, rules the screen.

Quick cuts, unusual for the time, great songs, and Marx Brothers-like gags and dialogue acrobatics make this a terrific film. Worth seeing if only to see the Beatles smoke and Ringo dance, but those aren't even the best parts. I wish I'd seen it decades ago.

And don't forget, if you'd like to see this one on the big screen, this summer it will be re-released to theaters to celebrate its fiftieth anniversary. Bring a date!

RIP Neil Armstrong

We have lost another great man. Last week, astronaut, explorer, hero, Neil Armstrong passed away at the age of 82. He was the first man to walk on the moon way back in 1969.

Wait a second. Didn't he die last year? Groan. Is anyone else tired of these Twitter and Facebook delayed and fake deaths? How about those folks who read something on the internet and don't check the date? Yeah, exactly. That said, Neil Armstrong was still a good man, a great man, and he should be remembered.

While I don't precisely remember the event, Armstrong walking on the moon, as I was quite young, I was glued to the TV for all of the Apollo missions that followed. NASA, Apollo, space, the moon, astronauts - it was an American past time, it was hysteria, it was like Beatlemania, or Batmania, only real.

Some of my first and most beloved toys were space and astronaut themed. We were all drinking Tang and eating Space Food Sticks, and racing home from school to see the splashdowns. And to many of us, Neil Armstrong was the guy who started it. Godspeed. A year later, and forward.

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead

Paul McCartney Really Is Dead ~ This one has the also just as intriguing subtitle of "The Last Testament of George Harrison." It comes from the gist of this documentary being tapes discovered by George Harrison disclosing the horrible secret that has burdened the Beatles for decades - that Paul really is dead. The tapes are George's confession. Yeah, if you smell the Blair Witch, don't worry, I do too.

Apparently all that nonsense, all those hints about the hoax that Paul was dead - it was all true. As suspected, Paul dies in a car crash. MI6 has a double, William Campbell, after cosmetic surgery, join the band as Paul. The remaining Beatles, under penalty of death keep quiet, while still leaving clues on their albums and in their music as to what really happened.

Supposedly, the voice of George narrates a somewhat skewed history of the Beatles and thereafter, with these new facts inserted, creating a new truth. All the usual stuff is in here, along with some shocking new bits. One truly bizarre addition indicates that 'Lovely Rita,' who witnessed Paul's death, is actually, wait for it, Heather Mills.

As a kid, it was always fun to find the clues, but come on, we all knew it was a hoax. I gotta give the producers props for trying at least. It gives new meaning to many lyrics previously thought indecipherable, a nice touch. A fun, if at times, rather sinister, faux documentary/conspiracy theory.

RIP Ravi Shankar

Lost Hits of the New Wave #7

"Stop This Game" by Cheap Trick



The above video is from an old Italian music TV show. The song, from the 1980 album All Shook Up. Like with Alice Cooper and "Clones (We're All)," this represented a marked change in the traditional Cheap Trick sound, aping the now more popular New Wave sound.

The song and the album were enough to put off the fans who had made Cheap Trick rock gods with their Live at Budokan album. Personnel changes kept the band from putting out a complete album for too long, and the Budokan heat had cooled. The fans were divided, rockers thought they were pop, and poppers thought they were rock, and in the end, they were screwed.

That wasn't all that led to Cheap Trick's downfall. Some say it was the Beatles curse, after Budokan they were dubbed the new Beatles, especially in Japan. That usually kills a band. It didn't help that Cheap Trick themselves were huge Beatles fans, doing various covers like "Daytripper," "Magical Mystery Tour" and even a mash-up with John Lennon of his "I'm Losing You."

And then there were the plagiarism claims. Listen to their early 1980s pop ballad "The Flame" next to Spirit's "Nature's Way" if you don't believe me. Even the above tune, "Stop This Game," borrows a few rifts from KISS' foray into disco and new wave, "I Was Born for Lovin' You."

Now, I don't mean to bag on Cheap Trick. I still have a place in my heart for them. This song, as well as "Reach Out" from the Heavy Metal soundtrack, and "On Top of the World" from the classic 1978 album Heaven Tonight are among my favorite guilty pleasures.

What's Your Lunchbox?

I'm old, I grew up waaay back in the 1970s. Back then, in public school at least, everything you had was a status symbol. I've talked about SSP Racers before, but the real status symbol of those elementary days was The Lunchbox.

First it was all about the lunchbox you got, whether you picked it out yourself, or your parents got it for you, you were psyched for the first day of school, so you could show it off, and show everyone how cool you were. Or not.

I was a geek, I am a geek, I mean. I was never the cool kid, never. Round about first and second grade I was all into comics and also Peanuts. I loved Snoopy and Charlie Brown, and especially Linus. Why I never had a blanket or thumbsucking problem is beyond me. But the point is I had a Snoopy lunchbox.

My lunch box was a big goofy yellow dome metal lunch box that kind of had Snoopy sleeping on top as if it was his doghouse and said, "Go to school with Snoopy" and "Have lunch with Snoopy." Again, me being a dopey kid, I had two of them, cuz I left one at the bus stop one morning. Dopey and forgetful.

At the time, and in hindsight, I really was very uncool. I still remember decades alter who had the really cool lunchboxes. "Land of the Giants" and "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea," "Johnny Lightning" and "The Archies," and the Beatles Yellow Submarine - those are the folks you wanted to sit next to at lunch, just to look at their lunchbox.

Throughout my elementary school days things changed as tin turned to plastic, the Archies turned to Josie and Pussycats, and "Land of the Giants" turned to "Six Million Dollar Man," but the lunchbox continued to be a status symbol. It faded away as I entered junior high and high school obviously. Heck, those places had vending machines - what did we need with lunchboxes any more?

As with most nostalgia however, lunchboxes, especially the tin kind have made a comeback. We have a miniature Superfriends lunchbox as a Christmas tree ornament, and The Bride uses a Nightmare Before Christmas lunchbox for her stage make-up. So what's your lunchbox?

The Rock Tenor

There are times in music where genre cross and mix. When Queen brought opera into rock with “Bohemian Rhapsody” would be one such occasion. When the London Symphony Orchestra performed the songs of Queen later in the 1970s was another. Things like Apocalyptica and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra grew from these hybrids. Sometimes there are actual moments like Jam-Master Jay putting “Toys in the Attic” on the turntable or Jimi Hendrix playing “The Star-Spangled Banner” at Woodstock or Tchaikovsky bringing cannons onto a stage. That’s the kind of passion and creativity that thrives within "The Rock Tenor."

The tagline touts the show, now running at the Wilma Theater until August 23rd, as “All the songs you love, like you’ve never heard them before.” That pretty much describes this intriguing mix of Broadway, classical and rock and roll. And it’s not just mixing genres, we also see and hear songs re-arranged as they’ve never been heard before, regardless of musical type. Know also that this is not your standard Broadway-type stage show, it is more or less a performance or a concert. No plot to follow, just sit back (or stand up, or dance!) and enjoy this melding of musical style.

Lead vocalist Rob Evan is a veteran of the musical stage, appearing in Jekyll & Hyde, Les Miserables, Little Shop of Horrors and Dance of the Vampires. His foremost singing credit is probably singing lead for the aforementioned Trans-Siberian Orchestra. He is flanked by a stage of amazing vocalists and musicians including Betsy Goode and Susan Aquila on strings and the subtle but powerful J.D. Valenteen on guitar. The latter’s charisma shines from the background throughout the show.

The mixing of Journey with Sondheim, Daughtry with Les Miz, Bocelli with The Police, and Puccini with Led Zep are brilliant. And had the cast stayed with that type of magic, the show would have been perfect. While I found the unique covers of the Beatles’ “Yesterday” and Leonard Cohen’s “Halleujah” equal to the task, I was just as disappointed with the redos of “Life Is a Highway” and especially “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” By the same token, I thought singer Morgan James’ “Somebody to Love” amazing yet Evan’s Queen tribute a bit over the top. I might put “The Devil Went Down to Philly” in the same category had it not highlighted the mad skillz of Goode and Aquila.

All that said, this is an incredible show that I highly recommend to everyone. The crowd I saw it with was very mixed age-wise, and everyone enjoyed immensely. For young or old, fans of rock or classical, everyone should see “The Rock Tenor.”

Quickies 8-3-2009

Imagine That ~ This is actually pretty good, imagine that. Unlike Adam Sandler who I really don’t care for, I like Eddie Murphy. Like Adam Sandler however, Eddie keeps making terrible films. When The Bride wanted to see this new one, I just groaned but went along just cuz I love her and all – but I was relatively sure I was not going to enjoy it. Surprise! And a pleasant one too. Imagine That is a feel-good little family film. It’s a tad predictable and requires a bit of that old suspension of disbelief from the adults, but still a lot of fun. Great Beatles cover soundtrack too.

American Zombie ~ A cool concept of a documentary made about zombies in a world where they have integrated into society. It moves swiftly from funny art school hi-jinks with a camera to Blair Witch-esque horror to conspiracy theories. Just when you think it’s run its course the film changes form like a basilisk. More intriguing and compelling than it deserves to be.

I Hate Valentine’s Day ~ More anti-chick flick chick flick entertainment from Nia Varadalos. She seems to excel on using the formula while bringing a new twist or touch to it. This one, written and directed by Nia, reunites her with My Big Fat Greek Wedding co-star John Corbett. Cliched but fun, definitely worth seeing.

Knowing ~ More of Nicholas Cage playing himself flawlessly in a one note flick. Unimpressive, despite the intriguing premise, but the disaster scenes are pretty cool though. It’s a shame the rest of the film doesn’t match up. For a movie about predicting the future, this was just waaay too predictable.

Pauly Shore Is Dead ~ Probably the best Pauly Shore film ever, period. Smarter and funnier than it should be – if only it had an ending.

The Beatles - Rock Band

Courtesy of Brad Meltzer and E3 2009, here comes the sneak preview trailer for "The Beatles: Rock Band."

Check it out here.

It just doesn't get any cooler than this. The Beatles. Rock Band. Anime. Pychedelics. And of course, the Beatles. Wow. A shame the actual game (see below) just doesn't look half as cool...

The game releases on September 9th, 2009.




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