Beauty and the Beast 2017

Beauty and the Beast ~ This is yet another of Disney's unnecessary live action remakes.  I don't see the point of these honestly, unless of course they are told from a different point of view entirely like Maleficent, or completely different as in the Tim Burton Alice films.  While Cinderella did answer some questions from the animated feature (as does this one), I found it ultimately dismal, and what could have been the best part of The Jungle Book was left on the cutting room floor (Scarlet Johansson's "Trust in Me").

I was very wary of the new Beauty and the Beast.  Not only was the original an Oscar nominated and winning classic of Disney's new animation age, it could have been decidedly difficult to animate.  In fact, the scenes I had seen in previews of the castle objects come to life, like Lumiere and Cogsworth, did not impress me. 

The casting worried me as well.  Hermione Granger? I'm not saying that Emma Watson is typecast but she would have to go a long way to make me believe she is anyone but Hermione, and as hard as she tries here, Emma never comes off as anything but playacting as Belle.  Honestly all of the roles are very solidly in most of our minds from the animated feature, it's hard to envision anyone else in those spots. 

The animated objects in the original are charming cartoons but here the CGI versions come off as a bit creepy, just to the left of Tim Burton.  We love those cartoon characters but the new ones are impressive yet cold and inhuman.  Similarly the music is also impersonal and feels very much like artificial or karaoke covers. 

Don't get me wrong, the live action Beauty and the Beast is a good movie, heck, it might even be a great movie for those who have never seen the classic original, but for me, the best it will ever be is a pale and ill wrought imitation.  Worth seeing only for the curious and the hardcore Disney fan only.

The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened?

This is very different from similar documentaries like Jodorowsky's Dune and Lost Soul in that it's not about a movie we wish had been made, but one we're glad was not made. The film in question featured Nicholas Cage as the titular character in Superman Lives, ironically retelling loosely the comics story of the death and return of Superman.

I have always loved Kevin Smith's spoken word epic here and here of his time working on this film. His experience, or his view of his experience, is hilarious and endlessly entertaining. The most intriguing parts in this documentary are the bits where Smith retells the tale while Jon Peters tells his side. Much denial, but the parts that sync up are interesting. I still believe Smith.

Interviews include those with Smith, Peters, the unlikely director Tim Burton, and many others. They're interspersed to create a tapestry detailing the history and demise of the Superman Lives project. And while I am usually dead set against messing with the source material (after all, the source material is what made the product marketable and worth making a movie of to begin with), I have to confess that Burton's vision is an intriguing one.

Just as the American 1998 Godzilla was a good giant monster movie, but a lousy Godzilla movie, so it would be with this vision - a good superhero movie, but a terrible Superman flick. That said, I was intrigued enough that I would probably have seen it had it been made, and possibly liked it as long as it wasn't Superman.

There was a lot of talk about the regenerative suit, the Thanagarian snare beast, preliminary sketches, great inside stuff. The potential cast is also discussed, one that included not just Nicholas Cage, but also Sandra Bullock as Lois Lane, Christopher Walken as Brainiac, and Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, a role he would eventually play wonderfully in Superman Returns.

I found the Brainiac designs the most intriguing, creepy as they came from the mind of Tim Burton, but intriguing. Jon Peters would certainly be pleased as one looked like the "Jonny Quest" eyeball spider with Brainiac's head on top. Freaky. I don't think I would have been happy to see this version of the Superman mythos, but I think I would have liked to have seen it at least once.

Cinderella 2015

The Disney live action remakes of their classic animated features seem to have certain identity issues. Or perhaps it's me who has the issues. In my opinion, they never seem to be what they intend to be, or what they seemed to intend to be, ya know?

There was that hideous Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter that is unbelievably getting a sequel, which of course not the first reimagining of a classic property Burton and/or Depp have had a hand in destroying. See the evidence of Dark Shadows, The Lone Ranger, and Willy Wonka. And then there was the switched point of view version of Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent, which missed several chances to be much better.

I think the same can be said of the new 2015 version of Cinderella, but it would only be my opinion though, which is far from objective. I think the two leads are attractive, I just don't think they are attractive enough for Cinderella and Prince Charming. I did like the extra backstory of Cinderella's family, and motive for Lady Tremaine. These were nice touches that added to the story.

You can hear my thoughts, along with those of The Bride, my podcast partner, on this episode of The Make Mine Magic Podcast

Nothing Lasts Forever

Nothing Lasts Forever ~ You may or may not have heard of this obscure 1984 film with Bill Murray. Shot in black and white and shelved by MGM, it was never officially released in theaters or to video retail. Directed by fellow "Saturday Night Live" alum Tom Schiller (remember the brilliant Schiller's Reel?), it has remained unseen for decades but is now, possibly only temporarily available on YouTube.

Ostensibly a Bill Murray vehicle, it stars the immediately post-Gremlins Zach Galligan as a young man, Adam, who returns to New York from Europe with dreams of becoming an artist. The trouble is that America has been through hard times and some things have changed. A transit strike has put the Port Authority in control of New York City in an almost fascist state. Artists are frowned upon and Adam is put to work at the Holland Tunnel for a wacky boss played by Dan Aykroyd.

With me so far? 'Cause it's about to get weird, and yes, weirder than it already is. After Adam is kind to a beggar, the kindness is returned when the man reveals that there is a secret underground of bums that really control the world. After a truly disturbing purification process, during which we go from black and white temporarily to pseudo sepia colorization color, the masters of the world give Adam a mission - to bring art to the moon where he will meet his soulmate.

Adam goes back up to black and white NYC where no one believes him. And then he gets on a bus to the moon, where a young, pre-arrogant, and not-as-grumpy Bill Murray is his possibly sinister sky host. Look quick or you'll miss Larry 'Bud' Melman. Once on the moon, we're in pseudo-color again. But even on the moon things are not as they seem.

This New York City is like a cross between Fellini Paris and Hell here, and in that way, the black and white is used to good effect, very German Expressionist, with just a touch of Val Lewton and David Lynch. The tour of the NY art scene is both surreal and far too real, imagine Andy Warhol in 1920s Germany, bizarre. There are many bits lifted from old movies that may have had something to do with its non-release, rights problems, perhaps?

Zach Galligan, as in Gremlins, does a great It's a Wonderful Life Jimmy Stewart, perhaps much more naive. Lauren Tom, who this writer knows from voice acting in the DC Comics Animated Universe, is his lovely lunar soulmate. The amazingly named Apollonia Van Ravenstein is also quite good. Also look for Eddie Fisher, Imogene Coco, Sam Jaffe, and Mort Sahl.

Perhaps the reason Nothing Lasts Forever was not released was its pre-Tim Burton oddity or its painfully non-mainstreamness. Maybe the studio didn't know what it was - scifi, drama, comedy, period piece, musical? Even I'm not sure. It certainly is intriguing and worth a look while you can. Check it out.

Lego Batman: The Movie - DC Super Heroes Unite

Lego Batman: The Movie - DC Super Heroes Unite ~ I am always wary of movies, books, and even potato chips that have long titles and subtitles, and this one is a doozy. I shouldn't have worried though, because it's Lego, and Lego is always cool, even when I can't play their video games.

From the get-go, this was good. The opening is a Lego take off on the opening credit sequence of Tim Burton's 1989 Batman, and even uses Danny Elfman's great score (and later John Williams' Superman music). And if that's not cool enough, it has Clancy Brown wonderfully reprising his role as the animated Lex Luthor. What's not to like?

The story is simple enough, and accessible to new viewers perhaps not savvy to the DC Universe continuity. Luthor joins up with the Joker to defeat Superman, Batman and Robin, destroy Gotham City, and win the Presidential election. Throw in guest stars from the Justice League and Batman's Rogues Gallery, along with that clever Lego sense of humor, and you've got a very entertaining flick for all ages.

Of course it has all the charm and wonder of the animated Lego stuff, that coolness of hey-I-could-build-that and a wink-wink slyness that the characters know they and their world are made of Legos. The cityscapes and sets of Gotham and Metropolis are stunning. The best part is Luthor's weapon, which is a gun that literally takes Legos apart.

Watching this I can't help thinking that this could probably not only be better than Warner Bros' upcoming Batman/Superman movie, but quite possibly could serve as an excellent script or template. If only...

ParaNorman

ParaNorman ~ I wasn't sure what to think of ParaNorman when I first saw previews for it. It kinda struck a comedic animated cross between The Sixth Sense and Hocus Pocus. It certainly had to be more than just a clever title, right? After seeing it, I'm still not sure. Maybe it's a bullying parable gone wildly astray after too many trips through the Hollywood idea machine. Maybe not.

In a town founded on the legend of a particularly nasty witch trial, Norman is a horror obsessed little boy with a non understanding family, few to no friends, and the ability to see dead people. Yep, just like little Haley Joel Osmont, he sees ghosts, but most of them are harmless. Except for the ghost of the witch who cursed the town. And in the words of Remo Williams, the adventure begins.

The character designs are grotesque but interesting, and refreshingly don't stink of Tim Burton's mind. This is a world where everything is crooked, askew, making it a treat to view. I only wish there were more to the story. There is one neat twist but much of the rest is fairly predictable.

This might be a bit intense for the kids, unless they like horror and monsters. Good watch if you wait for cable or DVD, and if you go to the theatre, save your money and see it in 2D.

Alyas Batman en Robin

Alyas Batman en Robin ~ This film, made in the Philippines in the early 1990s, is hard to describe. On one hand it is the stuff of legend, like Andy Warhol's Batman, or the also Filipino Alyas Batman at Robin from 1963, something few people in the United States have even ever seen. On the other it's just bizarre. Though made in the Philippines it has many of the hallmarks of a Bollywood film - comedy, drama, romance, and people spontaneously breaking into song and dance.

The plot has criminals taking on the identities of their idols - the Penguin, and the Joker, among others - to rob banks. To counteract this, two men, I am unsure if they are brothers or father and son, dress up like Batman and Robin, and have their car souped up to look like the Batmobile. Hilarity, romance, as well as song and dance numbers ensue, as one would expect.

For an unauthorized film using DC Comics characters, some of it looks good, not great, but some is better than that prime time NBC "Challenge of the Superheroes." The costumes are plays on the 1966 TV series rather than the Tim Burton films of the time. Comedian Rene Requiestas as the Joker reminds me of Prince's alter-ego Gemini, and not in a good way.

All in all this is probably worth a look for the curious. If you watch it in the wrong mood, you'll be horrified, but if you watch it with the right attitude, you'll be satisfactorily entertained.

Dark Shadows 2012

Dark Shadows ~ When I first saw the trailer for this new version of Dark Shadows my thoughts were, "Oh boy, here's Tim Burton raping another piece of my childhood, just like he did with Batman, Willy Wonka, Planet of the Apes, and tried to do with Superman." To an extent, I was right, but if I'm absolutely honest, having seen the film, there's also a lot of love and homage in there too, right next to the blatant disrespect and mockery.

The story for those who don't know is that of Barnabas Collins, cursed by an ex-lover, also a witch, to become a vampire in the 18th century, imprisoned, released and awoken in the 20th century. This was the basis for the last few years of the late 1960s/early 1970s ABC soap opera cult classic "Dark Shadows." Tim Burton, a supposed fan of the series, has decided to remake it as a camp comedy horror drama, emphasis on the camp and the comedy. Not that "Dark Shadows" wasn't camp, mind you, it was, it just wasn't planned to be. Like all good camp, it took itself deadly serious. That's not the case here at all unfortunately. Often, as with most of his films, what's funny to Tim Burton is rarely funny to everybody else.

All the good zingers are in the previews, so don't go in expecting much more. That said however, in between all the failed jokes are tons of in-jokes and Easter eggs for fans of the show. Tim Burton may have disrespected the TV series, but he certainly did know it backward and forward. He does streamline and he does change many details, but still the love is evident. It's when he tries to make fun of it and fails that fans and non-fans alike will cringe.

I dislike Johnny Depp's Barnabas Collins quite a bit. As he sometimes does, it seems as if he made up a character in a improv class and then built a movie around it. Depp might be better off getting together and making movies with that Borat guy rather than raping my childhood with substandard remakes of old soap operas. He does have Jonathan Frid's speech patterns down however. I have to give props to Helena Bonham Carter's Dr. Julia Hoffman for the same reason. Her voice is perfect, but her over the top dye job alcoholic drag queen version of the doctor not so much. Fans of the show will laugh their asses off at her, it's both hideous and hilarious.

Another of my favorites, Jackie Earle Haley is cast brilliantly as groundskeeper Willie Loomis (and yes, I bet that's where "The Simpsons" got the name from). He is one of the highlights of the flick, both dramatic and comedic. Don't blink or you will miss the two second cameos by surviving cast members of the soap opera - Kathryn Leigh Scott, David Selby, Lara Parker, and the recently late Jonathan Frid - as guests at the ball/happening with Alice Cooper.

Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty pedestrian for a role she wanted so badly, but she doesn't have much room to act next to the scene-eating Depp. Same for one of my faves Jonny Lee Miller and newcomer Bella Heathcote - not enough room. I would have loved to have seen more of them, but such is the way of the soap opera. Speaking of over the top scene-stealing, Eva Green from "Camelot" is just absolutely crazy town as Barnabas' nemesis Angelique. It's almost as if the actors got drunk and played make-believe as their characters at some points. Also, much like 1989's Batman, Burton is unable to come up with an ending so it feels like he starts pulling ideas of out his butt. Seriously, the last twenty minutes of this movie are insane, and not in a good way. It's almost unwatchable.

The problem is that it's not all bad, and that this really could have been a good movie, and not just that, a good movie, a respectful remake, and it didn't have to resort to low brow comedy. The credits sequence in the beginning, set to the Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin," with Victoria Winters coming to Collinsport, is so ABC telemovie that not only would Dan Curtis (creator of "Dark Shadows" as well as more than a few movies of the week) would have been proud, but I was half-expecting to see Kim Darby, Kate Jackson, or Karen Black make an appearance.

There was a lot of stuff to love set amongst the comedic ruins of this flick. I loved both the inside and the outside of Collinwood, the town of Collinsport they built on the set, including the Blue Whale. The bit with Alice Cooper, which in the previews appears to be a one note joke, turns into brilliance by the inclusion of "The Ballad of Dwight Frye" as background for a couple scenes.

All in all, except for the last quarter of the movie, I did enjoy it. It's not "Dark Shadows," it's not the cult classic gothic soap opera of my youth, but I did laugh, I did smile, and I still have my memories. Worth seeing for the curious, the fans, and for those with no point of reference whatsoever. I just would have rather seen the movie it could have been, as opposed to the one it is.

Jonathan Frid Dead at 87

News came today that actor Jonathan Frid passed away last week from natural causes. He immortalized the role of gentleman vampire Barnabas Collins in the Gothic soap opera "Dark Shadows" in the 1960s and early 70s, as well in a theatrical film. Frid was 87.

Like Dick Clark, who passed away yesterday, Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins was a big part of my childhood. I have very vague memories of the show when it was actually on the air originally (I'm not that old) but I know my sister was a big fan. I can remember it being on when I came home from school in the afternoon, and I recall the haunting theme music from those days as well.

My real association with "Dark Shadows" corresponded with my first TV, a tiny black and white number I put on my bedside table. Local channel 48 had begun showing reruns of the show at 11:30 every night, starting from the episode where Branabas was introduced. Now "Dark Shadows" was on the air before that, and even had supernatural elements, but the show didn't really start rolling until everybody's favorite vampire showed up. I would watch whatever 48 was offering before at 11, be it "Mary Hartman," "Fernwood 2night" or "All That Glitters," and stay tuned for "Dark Shadows." It was, in many ways, the best hour on television back then. I can still remember the credits rolling just before midnight on the supposedly still DS set and seeing the coffin shake or a prop fall. Hey, the show was cheap, but serious in its way, and well loved.

Now Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are remaking the show as a campy movie spoof. I'm sure you've all seen the preview. I'm not going to comment, but I know that Jonathan Frid had seen it, and sources say he knew they would put their own spin on it. He actually even has a small walk-on cameo in the film. Time will tell. Jonathan Frid will be missed.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes ~ As a kid growing up in the 1970s, Planet of the Apes was very important to me, and probably to most kids of my generation. I remember asking to stay up to watch the movies on CBS, and their creaky continuity. I remember the lame TV show. I remember the girl across the street who got the Mego PotA treehouse for a gift. It's instilled in my childhood, like the "Brady Bunch," Marathon bars, and the "Six Million Dollar Man," PotA was the 1970s.

All that said, you can imagine my disappointment with the Tim Burton remake, and especially that effed up ending swiped from a bad Kevin Smith comic book. When I heard they were making a prequel to it, my heart sank. A prequel to a bad movie is never a good idea, and besides, let's get real, the original prequels to PotA weren't that great either.

In truth, prequels rarely work, especially when we already know the story. Viewers might just give a pass to a prequel because it's not going to tell them anything they didn't already know. I already know the origins of Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man, you don't need to tell me again. In most cases they aren't even needed, and sometimes even hurt the property. Case in point - Star Wars.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes surprised me though. It hooked me first with an intriguing trailer before throwing the title at me. I wanted to see it before I even knew it was PotA. Finally, I've got hold of it on DVD. Let's see if my instincts were right.

From the start, there are homages , both verbal and visual, to the original series of movies. Much like the preview, the movie itself grabbed me right away. James Franco, in less than annoying mode, is a geneticist searching for a cure to Alzheimer's, testing on apes, and inadvertently succeeds with a chimp named Caesar that he raises himself. John Lithgow gives a wonderful performance as Franco's afflicted father as well. Andy Serkis does his usual as does Tom (Draco Malfoy) Felton, so much for typecasting.

If you know the mythos, you can connect the dots, but there is still a strong emotional story here, not just a this-is-how-we-got-here vibe. The CGI effects make for the needed realism of the tale. While the ape masks and make-up of the original PotA were state of the art for the time, sadly now, they are just, well, ape masks and make-up. These apes look real and emote real, it's very stunning. In fact it's a tribute to the power of CGI done well that the scenes of Caesar and other apes are so hypnotic.

I really dug this flick. When all hell really breaks loose, and the apes begin their 'rise,' I was ten years old again. Yeah, it's that good.

RIP Michael Gough

For a couple generations of movie-goers, Michael Gough is best known as Alfred Pennyworth in the Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher films in the Batman franchise, but he has had a long and distinguished career in television and film. Today, at 94, he passed away of old age in London, surrounded by family and friends.

Gough appeared in over one hundred and fifty productions including several Hammer horror films, animated and live action features by Tim Burton, Trog, Konga, The Age of Innocence, "Doctor Who," "The Avengers" and many BBC mini-series. He'll be missed.

Quickies 7-15-2010

Surge of Power: The Stuff of Heroes ~ This campy comedic superhero film is badly acted and directed, in an almost unintended Rocky Horror or Lost Skeleton of Cadavra way, but its script and heart are in the right place. If you rent it, stay with it. The most intriguing part of the flick is its gay-centric cast and community, a trick that really works well, and doesn’t overpower the rest of the movie. Look for fun cameos by Noel Neill, Lou Ferrigno and Nichelle Nichols as well as Marv Wolfman and Len Wein. Tom Tangen is hilarious as multiple characters, writer Vincent J. Roth is charming in the title role, and do not miss the costume party. This is a lot more fun than it at first seems, check it out.

Empire Records ~ This cult favorite pseudo-remake of FM, only at a record store instead of a radio station, is a pleasant surprise. While painfully predictable, it’s also a lot of fun and has a killer soundtrack. Great Gwar cameo and bonus, Renee Zellweger not only sings, but her eyes are open for most of the movie.

Pirate Radio ~ Great sixties soundtrack, but wow, not a great movie at all. It also has a terrific cast, most of which is wasted here. I think this is the first Richard Curtis flick that I haven’t liked. I guess everyone misses sometimes.

Franklyn ~ Really? Darkman meets Dark City with just a touch of Repo! The Genetic Opera thrown in for good measure – really? This is what you were shooting for? This is pretty, this is stunning, but it is very much style over substance. There were whole sequences that were so boring that I fell asleep. It’s a steampunk Tim Burton wannabe visual overdose without much story to support it. Eye candy, but that’s all.

Killers ~ This one was quite a surprise for me. I was fully expecting a mindless romantic comedy here. I don’t like Ashton Kutcher and as I don’t watch "Grey’s Anatomy," I have no point of reference for Katherine Heigl. She was painfully adequate for 27 Dresses but that called for that type of performance. But Killers, other than being a bit more predictable than I would have liked plotwise, is a lot of fun. I really enjoyed this romantic dark comedy with a twist. And director Robert Luketic should definitely be plugged in to work on the Bond films because he has the eye needed. Recommended.

Alice's New Adventures in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland ~ This 2010 edition of the Lewis Carroll stories was masterminded by Tim Burton and presents a tale that is both a sequel and a re-imagining of the Alice saga. It’s been highlighted with the best special effects CGI and Disney Digital 3-D and IMAX can offer.

There’s been a lot of hype about this movie, and just like its creative predecessor, Avatar, I had the same thought leaving the theatre – where did the money go? Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s up on the screen, but it’s neither in the writing nor in the acting. The plot is at times slow and boring and at best predictable. Title player Mia Wasikowska and Knave of Hearts Crispin Glover aside, the cast sleepwalks through this special effects extravaganza. Wasikowska is someone to watch.

And those that don’t drift through – Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter as the Red Queen, both day-glo nightmares given CGI life – overact and hog the screen mercilessly. And none of it is pleasurable. I cringed when either of these two were on screen. Depp is really only likable for a few moments toward the end, but by that time it was too late.

This is a good film, and a visual spectacle that must be seen – preferably in 3-D and in IMAX to get the ful effect, but I couldn’t help thinking it could have been much better. I mean, if you’ve already spent, let’s say, $300 million, why not invest another five mil to get the script up to snuff? The all-too-brief bright and shiny scenes in which we see the young Alice experiencing the original Wonderland adventures made me yearn to have seen more. Perhaps half that and half this dark Burtonesque Wonderland with the adult Alice would have worked better both visually and storywise.

All in all, this is recommended, but on the whole a disappointment of what could have been. The battle at the end is a sight that is on a scale with the end conflict of Avatar. Definitely see it, despite my small quibbles, and see it on the big screen.

The Long Dark Knight

The Dark Knight
~ I wanted to like this, I really did. Hell, I wanted to love it. And based on the record-breaking box office, and the renewed interest in comics as fodder for Hollywood, I really wish I did… But it was not to be. This could be one of the biggest disappointments of the summer, if not the year.

I don’t get it. How could this be that nearly two decades after Tim Burton’s Batman when comics readers breathed a collective sigh of relief when we finally got what many of us perceived as the real Batman – a dark creature of the night – how could it be that now … my reaction is “it’s too dark,” how could this be?

The problem is, that’s the least of the problems I have with The Dark Knight. There are sequences, dialogue and characterizations that are dead on, and in some cases, perfect. But those do not make a whole movie.

Perhaps part of the blame goes to director Christopher Nolan for hiring his brother to help with the screenplay. David Goyer runs hot and cold for me. The first Blade is perfect yet his Dark City does nothing but give me migraines just thinking about it. Why not hire someone who has his feet firmly within both camps, film and comics, to help write the thing? Alan Brennert must be in the loop somewhere as he wrote one of the episodes in “Gotham Knight,” the anime that bridges Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, and it should be noted he’s one of the better comics and TV writers around. His “Twilight Zone” work rivals Rod Serling’s and his Earth-Two stories are second only to Roy Thomas, if not better. He understands comics, and the characters.

Another thing that bothers me is the Oscar for the late Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker. Yeah, he’s good, but was he that good? Hard to say. He certainly nailed the Joker, personality-wise at least, if not the visuals, and Ledger’s Joker definitely is frightening. Anyone else get the shivers every time he clicked his tongue? Yes, Ledger was brilliant, absolutely brilliant. He shines whenever he’s on screen, even in nurse drag. But personally though I think Aaron Eckhart and especially Gary Oldman were just as good. If the late Heath Ledger gets an Oscar, then at least Oldman should have gotten at least a nod as well.

Christian Bale’s Batman growl has got to go. In the previous movie it was annoying, here it’s just downright infuriating. How about just a tonal change of voice like Christopher Reeve used to do with Clark Kent and Superman? That’s all that’s needed, really.



Really, what more do I need to say? The guttural noises coming from Bale lessen the character. The Batman character comes as much from Doc Savage as he does from the Shadow. Where is the Savage intellect? In this version of the dark knight it seems that either Lucius or Alfred do all the thinking for him.

Why do the movies hate Two-Face so much? He is easily one of the Batman’s deadliest foes, not just because of his insanity, or his loyalty to that coin, but because he was Bruce Wayne’s friend. He is not just the Riddler’s sidekick or the Joker’s freakish revenge – and he never was – why reduce such a opportunity-filled nemesis by linking him to others?

And Two-Face’s make-up/appearance… wow, it’s horrific, and pretty close to the comics for once, in theory. I think the idiots that brought their infant children to see this flick paid for their mistake with numerous nights of their children screaming awake from nightmares. Ratings are there for a reason, idiots. Just because it’s based on a ‘funny book,’ doesn’t mean it’s for kids.

I suppose that somewhere in this dreck written by Goyer and the director’s brother there might have been a good movie somewhere, but in my opinion it doesn’t make it to the screen. There are, despite my contempt for this film, parts I liked. The Joker’s interactions with the underworld elements of Gotham City are priceless and the entire Hong Kong sequence is amazing, but that’s only a small percentage of a very long movie. Too long.

I suppose I can hope that the next film in the series will be better, but that tact didn’t work back in the 1990s when Joel Schumacher took over the franchise. Perhaps Batman will be the opposite of the Star Trek film series and the odd-numbered ones will be the good ones. I hope so. I really don’t want to hate going to see Batman movies again...

Coming Soon

The remake of Clash of the Titans opens March 26th.



Kick-Ass opens March 12th.



And Tim Burton's reimagining of Alice in Wonderland opens March 5th.

Quickies 1-13-2010

(500) Days of Summer ~ One of the better films of the year, this is a day by day examination of a relationship, sometimes in order, sometimes not. The story and the acting are great and the music and literary references are delicious. This flick also has one of the best impromptu dance numbers (to Hall and Oates of all things) this side of Enchanted or Clerks 2. Do not miss.

9 ~ More ugly animation from Tim Burton, while visually interesting it quickly got boring after about twenty minutes. It was originally created as a short, perhaps it should have stayed such.

Family Guy: Something Something Something Dark Side ~ This second Seth McFarlane “Family Guy” feature parodies the second Star Wars film The Empire Strikes Back. This one is notably more Family Guy than Star Wars but still damned accurate and damned funny. The one thing that does get me is how fantastic and detail-oriented the animation of the ships and background look. How come this parody looks like this, but the real thing – the “Clone Wars” cartoon on Cartoon Network, looks like crap. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

A Thousand Clowns ~ This classic 1965 film is proof positive of Jason Robards’ talent, as well as getting an Oscar for Martin Balsam’s performance and a handful of other nominations including best picture too. A simple story – a woman convinces an out of work imaginative writer to get his job back in order to maintain custody of his gifted nephew. Robards and the young Barry Gordon as well as most of the rest of the cast reprised their roles from the stage play by Herb Gardener. He also wrote the screenplay, that while still feeling stagebound, is an amazing tour de force for all the actors involved. The chemistry of all the actors is incredible. Must see.