Gargoyles!

I remember very distinctly seeing this movie when it first aired on CBS in late 1972. This was at a time when my bedtime was in dispute, and by in dispute I mean I wanted to stay up late but my parents didn't.  I would slyly pull this stunt of taking too long with my homework so I would be up when whatever I wanted to see on TV would be on.  I remember purposely doing that this night so I could see Gargoyles! in its 9:30 PM time slot. 

My big brother was doing babysitting duty that night with me and didn't seem to mind the movie so I guess it wasn't that bad.  He'd watched worse with me in those days before the VCR and only one TV in the house.  I also remember the next morning at school asking my third grade teacher if she'd seen it.  She was horrified, first saying she didn't watch such movies, and then that I shouldn't be up so late. 

Such movies were my kind of thing though.  Raised on "Dark Shadows" and "Thriller" and Dr. Shock, this was my kind of movie even if it wasn't Mrs. Scott's.  And there were enough of my friends in class who also watched it - they were also the ones who had Aurora monster models and liked Alice Cooper, if that says anything.  Nevertheless when I saw coming attractions for Gargoyles!, I knew I'd want to see it and planned for it appropriately. 

The movie has been out of print for years now, and is occasionally available on YouTube, but I most recently saw it on MeTV's Svengoolie.  Like the aforementioned Dr. Shock, Svengoolie, played by Rich Koz, is one of dozens of horror movie hosts across the country.  Svengoolie, the second to go under that name has been enjoying national success for some time now on the nostalgia network.  Sometimes he's annoying but usually has lots of good info on the flicks.  He's truly a movie fan, and that's really appreciated. 

Now all that said, Gargoyles! is actually a pretty darn good horror film, both typical of its time and yet better than most.  The flick is scary as well, one wonders how I slept that night back in the day.  It also features early work by Stan Winston which won him his first Emmy.  Most frightening of all is the make-up work on Bernie Casey, former football player and character actor, who plays the lead gargoyle.  That is one scary dude.  And it was written by Stephen and Elinor Karpf who also wrote the camp horror classic Devil Dog: Hound from Hell! 

The movie opens with a montage of photos of gargoyles, interspersed with the ones from the movie, and including one from the classic Swedish and Danish silent Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages if I'm not mistaken and the narration of Vic Perrin.  His bit is perfect as he was also the control voice at the start of each episode of "The Outer Limits," and he tells us the tale of the Devil banished from Heaven, and his minions the gargoyles who rise up every six hundred years to battle mankind. Guess what time it is? 

The premise has Hollywood leading man Cornel Wilde in his twilight years as an anthropologist/demonology/writer Professor Boley and Jennifer Salt as his daughter Diana who stumble upon a colony of these emerging gargoyles.  This was the first place I ever saw Wilde, so even his finest roles bring the Oscar nominee back to Gargoyles! for me.  Salt mesmerized me in Brian DePalma's Sisters and has done amazing work behind the scenes on "Nip/Tuck" and "American Horror Story" so for me, she's not all just this.  And she's rocking those halter tops.  Together they are perfect 1970s protagonists for this horror film. 

They set off into the desert, probably the same one Dennis Weaver raced through in Steven Spielberg's Duel, to visit Uncle Willie's Desert Museum.  Willie has something for the good professor, and serves a gateway to this hero's quest.  Already however the couple are being watched, lending chills before we even get started. 

The Desert Museum is a tourist trap, full of crap, but old Uncle Willie (played by Woody Chambliss, a TV western regular who was also in another horror classic of the time, The Devil's Rain) does have something of value for the professor.  After nightfall he takes them out to his barn and shows them a gargoyle skeleton.  Boley disbelieves at first but listens to Willie's tales of demons at war with the Native Americans. 

To the tune of crazy music by Robert Prince sounding like it was played on police sirens, something attacks them and kills Willie.  The couple escape with cassette tape recordings of Willie and the gargoyle skull in their beat up station wagon.  One of the monsters pursue and jump on, invoking Race With the Devil. As they get away we get our first eerie slow motion look at a gargoyle, scary. 

Dad and daughter get a motel room while their car gets repaired.  The motel is run by Grayson Hall of the aforementioned "Dark Shadows."  She plays a lush who always has a drink in her hand, which is funny as she was frequently rumored to be drinking on the set of the soap and blowing her lines.  At least here it's in the script. 

When Dad and Daughter report Willie's death to the police, leaving out all the gargoyley details, the cops immediately place the blame on local bikers, one of whom is Scott Glenn, most recently seen as Stick in "Daredevil" and soon "The Defenders."  A real young Scott Glenn.  Later on he has one of the movie best and most memorable lines, "one of them gar things is gonna get her," and he's not talking about the Podcast either. 

Eventually the gargoyles attack and steal back the skull, moving in crazy scary slow motion, and featuring the one very frightening scene of the gargoyle looking over the end of the bed - a major reason I never watched this flick late at night in bed.  When a gargoyle is killed by a hit and run truck, Boley takes in the dead body for proof.  It's his undoing. 

Like the skull, the gargoyles come again for their dead, and this time, they take Diana as well.  Winged head gargoyle Bernie Casey takes a shine to her and brings her home to meet his family.  The more we're exposed to the gargoyle costumes and make up the less scary they are, but by this time, we're fully invested and it doesn't matter.  We are in this world, and they're still scary. 

Still, this is where the flick starts to fall apart a bit. Casey, with Vic Perrin's dubbed voice (!), wants Diana to teach him to read, so the gargoyles can get smarter and be on more even ground to fight man.  Eggs are hatching and the menfolk are getting a posse together, so time is dear. The movie spirals downward from there. 

Gargoyles! is still a great horror flick, even all these years later, and even with the obviously cheap special effects.  It's a piece of my childhood, and still scares the crap outta me.  Recommended, but don't watch alone, or in the dark. 

Cinderella 2015

The Disney live action remakes of their classic animated features seem to have certain identity issues. Or perhaps it's me who has the issues. In my opinion, they never seem to be what they intend to be, or what they seemed to intend to be, ya know?

There was that hideous Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter that is unbelievably getting a sequel, which of course not the first reimagining of a classic property Burton and/or Depp have had a hand in destroying. See the evidence of Dark Shadows, The Lone Ranger, and Willy Wonka. And then there was the switched point of view version of Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent, which missed several chances to be much better.

I think the same can be said of the new 2015 version of Cinderella, but it would only be my opinion though, which is far from objective. I think the two leads are attractive, I just don't think they are attractive enough for Cinderella and Prince Charming. I did like the extra backstory of Cinderella's family, and motive for Lady Tremaine. These were nice touches that added to the story.

You can hear my thoughts, along with those of The Bride, my podcast partner, on this episode of The Make Mine Magic Podcast

Scratching the Surface of the New Season

This is just a taste, not intensive reviews, of my impressions of some of what the new television season has to offer.

"Selfie" - Against all my better judgment, I kinda dig this one. The premise, a modern updating of "Pygmalion," only holds so much water and can only last as long as the story does, is just not the usual fodder for a sitcom. Sitcoms like status quo, and by its nature, this is not. Fan fave Karen Gillan ("Doctor Who," Guardians of the Galaxy) is a social media obsessed woman whose straight laced co-worker, the criminally underused John Cho (Star Trek, the Harold & Kumar movies), tries to help her to better herself. This was fun, I don't know how long it will, or can, last, but it was fun.

"Scorpion" - While some folks have laid into this series for its casting, I think I will stick with other critics and trash the series as a whole. I could not stand this thing. Its good points are that it is as manipulative and predictable as a 1980s popcorn flick. Its bad points are that anyone with common sense or has been on the internet at all will be bleeding from the eyes ten minutes in. CBS, what used to be called the old people network, is trying to get its title back. Because, 'inspired by true events' or not, the only people who believe this 'high tech' hokum are folks who think a pager is cutting edge and are still living in the 1990s where hacking is magic. This made my head hurt.

"Castle" - The more I think about this one, the more I think this series has outstayed its welcome. I loved it so much when it first appeared. What was not to like? An old school TV mystery series with a writer at its center? I'm sold. I loved the poker games with real writers from the first season, too bad they vanished. Last season, the stories seemed to suffer from faulty logic that wasn't there the first few seasons. I loved the characters so I hung in there. Then, as a cliffhanger, they had the main character kidnapped just before the wedding. Yeah, a bit cliché, but I remained a loyal viewer. With the new season premiere, we have entered bad soap opera territory with amnesia. I am sure that this show has worn out its welcome and should have ending with a happy ending wedding last season.

"American Horror Story: Freak Show" - I tried this anthology series in its first season, was bored to tears, and fell away rather quickly. Since then it's gotten a lot of hype. When this season's 'freak show' theme was announced, being a fan of Tod Browning's Freaks and HBO's "Carnivale," I had to give it another chance. I was pleasantly surprised. This hot mess is a campy concoction of many genres thrown into a bloody food processor, including "True Blood," "Dark Shadows," Stephen King, John Waters, and Brian DePalma. Love it, so far at least. You can check out my friend and fellow writer Marie Gilbert's reviews of the series here at Biff Bam Pop!.

Speaking of Biff Bam Pop!, you can read my review of the pilot episode of "The Flash" here, my ongoing reviews of "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." here, my review of "Gotham" here at Welcome to Hell, and my thoughts on the new season of "Arrow" begin right here on this blog starting tomorrow.

Vogues of 1938

Vogues of 1938 ~ Regular readers of this blog know I love "Dark Shadows" - the TV series, not last summer's Johnny Depp vehicle. Well, when I saw this movie listed, starring Joan Bennett, DS' Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, the Collins family matriarch. I know she had a serious film career before DS, over seventy movies, but I'd never seen any, that I know of, so I had to check this out.

Walter Wanger's Vogues of 1938 is a lavish color musical that also stars Warren Baxter as the male lead opposite Bennett. She's a socialite who becomes a model after a failed marriage. The sets and costumes are terrific for the time, and the print is crisp and bright.

The movie is clever and snappy, like most from the decade. The story is weak, but plays second to the terrific musical numbers and the visuals so it's okay. The worst part is ...Joan Bennett! She's stiff, fake, and unappealing. Literally everything works on this flick except her. I'm glad she found her home finally in soap operas. Worth seeing, but be forewarned.

I Saw What You Did

I Saw What You Did ~ Back in the old days, before video rentals, before OnDemand, even before cable television, there was only one way to see a particular film - you waited and waited for it to finally show up on standard six channel television. When it was a movie you'd never seen and only heard about, it became sort of an event, and a special memory. I saw The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon this way, and also Mothra and the Matt Helm films. There was a certain mystique to the movies you had to watch and wait for each week by scouring the TV Guide.

The original 1965 (it was later a terrible telemovie in the late 1980s that is best forgotten) version of I Saw What You Did was one of those movies, and in recent times it has been made even rarer by its on-again-off-again video and DVD releasing. In an age where almost everything is available, this is indeed a rare film. It's a lucky thing that occasionally TCM gives it a run, usually when honoring its star Joan Crawford, or its genius director William Castle.

Its full title gives a bit of a hint what it is really about. Two teenage girls on a sleepover amuse themselves by making random prank phone calls and saying to the answerer, "I Saw What You Did! And I Know Who You Are!" You can imagine the bedlam that ensues when they call the man who has just murdered his wife. There's the set-up and trademark William Castle hilarity and horror follow. You can understand how the plot of this one can become whispered legend among those watching the TV Guide every week.

In a role originally meant to be only a cameo (although she got top billing and pay) and originally offered to Grayson Hall, later to be known as Dr. Julia Hoffman on "Dark Shadows," Joan Crawford eats up the screen like the film goddess she was in every scene. Her appearance, dressed for flash in the middle of the night, is kinda odd, but then again she's Joan Crawford after all. She proves without a doubt she could easily be the kooky neighbor in a sitcom from any age, and do it with pizzazz.

The two girls, and one's little sister, are terrible, but their kids, so give them a break. John Ireland as the killer is stone-faced and fierce, his looks alone inspiring scares. Some of the shocks and the violence are a bit over the top for the time, and surprising when you think about it in hindsight. It's not Friday the 13th, but it's a bit much for 1965. The initial killing is an ironic turn on the shower scene from Psycho and actually quite well done.

This is, despite what others may tell you, William Castle at his best. I love this flick, and watch it whenever it presents itself. Must see for horror fans, movie fans, and camp fans - funny, scary, quirky, what more could you want? So keep a lookout, just like in the old days, for the next time I Saw What You Did airs, it's worth it.

Dark Shadows 2012

Dark Shadows ~ When I first saw the trailer for this new version of Dark Shadows my thoughts were, "Oh boy, here's Tim Burton raping another piece of my childhood, just like he did with Batman, Willy Wonka, Planet of the Apes, and tried to do with Superman." To an extent, I was right, but if I'm absolutely honest, having seen the film, there's also a lot of love and homage in there too, right next to the blatant disrespect and mockery.

The story for those who don't know is that of Barnabas Collins, cursed by an ex-lover, also a witch, to become a vampire in the 18th century, imprisoned, released and awoken in the 20th century. This was the basis for the last few years of the late 1960s/early 1970s ABC soap opera cult classic "Dark Shadows." Tim Burton, a supposed fan of the series, has decided to remake it as a camp comedy horror drama, emphasis on the camp and the comedy. Not that "Dark Shadows" wasn't camp, mind you, it was, it just wasn't planned to be. Like all good camp, it took itself deadly serious. That's not the case here at all unfortunately. Often, as with most of his films, what's funny to Tim Burton is rarely funny to everybody else.

All the good zingers are in the previews, so don't go in expecting much more. That said however, in between all the failed jokes are tons of in-jokes and Easter eggs for fans of the show. Tim Burton may have disrespected the TV series, but he certainly did know it backward and forward. He does streamline and he does change many details, but still the love is evident. It's when he tries to make fun of it and fails that fans and non-fans alike will cringe.

I dislike Johnny Depp's Barnabas Collins quite a bit. As he sometimes does, it seems as if he made up a character in a improv class and then built a movie around it. Depp might be better off getting together and making movies with that Borat guy rather than raping my childhood with substandard remakes of old soap operas. He does have Jonathan Frid's speech patterns down however. I have to give props to Helena Bonham Carter's Dr. Julia Hoffman for the same reason. Her voice is perfect, but her over the top dye job alcoholic drag queen version of the doctor not so much. Fans of the show will laugh their asses off at her, it's both hideous and hilarious.

Another of my favorites, Jackie Earle Haley is cast brilliantly as groundskeeper Willie Loomis (and yes, I bet that's where "The Simpsons" got the name from). He is one of the highlights of the flick, both dramatic and comedic. Don't blink or you will miss the two second cameos by surviving cast members of the soap opera - Kathryn Leigh Scott, David Selby, Lara Parker, and the recently late Jonathan Frid - as guests at the ball/happening with Alice Cooper.

Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty pedestrian for a role she wanted so badly, but she doesn't have much room to act next to the scene-eating Depp. Same for one of my faves Jonny Lee Miller and newcomer Bella Heathcote - not enough room. I would have loved to have seen more of them, but such is the way of the soap opera. Speaking of over the top scene-stealing, Eva Green from "Camelot" is just absolutely crazy town as Barnabas' nemesis Angelique. It's almost as if the actors got drunk and played make-believe as their characters at some points. Also, much like 1989's Batman, Burton is unable to come up with an ending so it feels like he starts pulling ideas of out his butt. Seriously, the last twenty minutes of this movie are insane, and not in a good way. It's almost unwatchable.

The problem is that it's not all bad, and that this really could have been a good movie, and not just that, a good movie, a respectful remake, and it didn't have to resort to low brow comedy. The credits sequence in the beginning, set to the Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin," with Victoria Winters coming to Collinsport, is so ABC telemovie that not only would Dan Curtis (creator of "Dark Shadows" as well as more than a few movies of the week) would have been proud, but I was half-expecting to see Kim Darby, Kate Jackson, or Karen Black make an appearance.

There was a lot of stuff to love set amongst the comedic ruins of this flick. I loved both the inside and the outside of Collinwood, the town of Collinsport they built on the set, including the Blue Whale. The bit with Alice Cooper, which in the previews appears to be a one note joke, turns into brilliance by the inclusion of "The Ballad of Dwight Frye" as background for a couple scenes.

All in all, except for the last quarter of the movie, I did enjoy it. It's not "Dark Shadows," it's not the cult classic gothic soap opera of my youth, but I did laugh, I did smile, and I still have my memories. Worth seeing for the curious, the fans, and for those with no point of reference whatsoever. I just would have rather seen the movie it could have been, as opposed to the one it is.

Jonathan Frid Dead at 87

News came today that actor Jonathan Frid passed away last week from natural causes. He immortalized the role of gentleman vampire Barnabas Collins in the Gothic soap opera "Dark Shadows" in the 1960s and early 70s, as well in a theatrical film. Frid was 87.

Like Dick Clark, who passed away yesterday, Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins was a big part of my childhood. I have very vague memories of the show when it was actually on the air originally (I'm not that old) but I know my sister was a big fan. I can remember it being on when I came home from school in the afternoon, and I recall the haunting theme music from those days as well.

My real association with "Dark Shadows" corresponded with my first TV, a tiny black and white number I put on my bedside table. Local channel 48 had begun showing reruns of the show at 11:30 every night, starting from the episode where Branabas was introduced. Now "Dark Shadows" was on the air before that, and even had supernatural elements, but the show didn't really start rolling until everybody's favorite vampire showed up. I would watch whatever 48 was offering before at 11, be it "Mary Hartman," "Fernwood 2night" or "All That Glitters," and stay tuned for "Dark Shadows." It was, in many ways, the best hour on television back then. I can still remember the credits rolling just before midnight on the supposedly still DS set and seeing the coffin shake or a prop fall. Hey, the show was cheap, but serious in its way, and well loved.

Now Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are remaking the show as a campy movie spoof. I'm sure you've all seen the preview. I'm not going to comment, but I know that Jonathan Frid had seen it, and sources say he knew they would put their own spin on it. He actually even has a small walk-on cameo in the film. Time will tell. Jonathan Frid will be missed.

The Death of the Soap Opera?

"One Life to Live," after an over forty-year run on ABC-TV, ended last week. That leaves only four traditional daytime soap operas still on the air in 2012. Among the survivors is "General Hospital," the only one of its ilk that I followed regularly for a time. I discount "Dark Shadows" as I only vaguely remember it when it was on, and mostly watched it in rerun on local Channel 48 and SyFy when it was just starting out.

The award-winning "One Life to Live" was part of the ABC daytime soap opera programming shared universe of Agnes Nixon, of which "General Hospital" is currently the only survivor. "The Bold and the Beautiful" and "The Young and the Restless" on CBS and "Days of our Lives" on NBC are the other three. On a sidenote, I gotta ask - am I the only one who thought "The Doctors" was still the soap opera of the same name? Weird. "OLTL" had some highlights in its run, Emmys aplenty, groundbreaking storylines dealing with rape and drugs, and even some time traveling a la "Dark Shadows," exciting stuff.

"One Life to Live" also actually had some fun with its last days. Residents of the fictional city of Llanview watched on their sets the final episode of an equally fictional TV soap created by Agnes Nixon, who was interviewed. Angels abounded, played by cast members whose characters who had died. There's even a cliffhanger, and a broken fourth wall, good stuff. But now it's over, with some characters moving on to "General Hospital," and the time slot filled by "The Revolution," another boring health and lifestyle show.

Anyway it seems the soap opera is dead as a television genre, but is it? It may be well on its way out as a genre unto itself, but let's face it, everything is soap opera now. I have always said that soap opera is at the core of comic books (any serial fiction really) and that as wrestling is the bastard stepchild of comics, soap opera and comics are the bastard stepchildren of mythology - but that's another story.

Soap opera as storytelling is everywhere, and I'm not just talking about prime time dramas either. The concept of main story with several subplots underlying that soon become the new main story in an unending cycle is how television works now. There's no more status quo, where the whole world resets when the credits of a given TV show roll. The characters evolve and change as time goes by.

That's soap opera, and even if the TV series we normally think of when we think of the term are gone, soap opera still lives, in every other television series.

True Blood: Beautifully Broken

There is so much going on, so many plots, subplots and plot twists happening all at once. "True Blood" is the perfect melding of the modern quick cut drama like "The Sopranos" and old school soap opera camp craziness of "Dark Shadows" with just a touch of "Twin Peaks." Yeah, it’s that good.

Our main cliffhanger from last week has Bill going custerfluck crazy on those werewolves, eviscerating them. Yeah, vampires are definitely superior to werewolves in this world – and almost in answer to this revelation, we learn that the wolf pack actually serves the Vampire King of Mississippi, who has plans for Bill.

Our other cliffhanger thankfully ends with Tara not taking her own life, but leads to some great acting by Rutina Wesley and Nelsan Ellis as Tara and Lafayette. There are actually more than a few spotlight performances in this episode. Debra Ann Woll’s Jessica also gets some good stage time. Surprisingly, Eric and Sookie, who are in a real life relationship as Alexander Skarsgard and Anna Paquin, manage very little passion or emotion in their scenes together.

The episode’s title bears out in the various plots, showing the broken relationships in this large web of characters, whether it’s Sam trying to find his family, Lafayette and Tara sticking together, or Jason and Sookie finally making amends – it is all broken.

We learn the nature of the werewolves. They are not just any werewolves. The silliness of that line alone had me giggling. And they’re not just Nazi werewolves either. Yeah, I know. I’m still giggling. There were lots of lines like that in this episode, as well as a cameo by Christine, and it made an otherwise uneventful episode better. From the unintentional one-liners from Eric to the intentional ones from Jason to the various ways to devour blood Bill is presented with – "Beautifully Broken" was a lot of fun.

So until next time... make sure you know where all the bodies in your crawlspace are...

Jean Simmons Dies at 80

Legendary actress Jean Simmons passed away yesterday from complications of lung cancer at the age of 80.

The Oscar-nominated and Emmy-winning actress not only held some of the most coveted roles in Hollywood but she also played opposite some its greatest leading men, like Marlon Brando, Burt Lancaster, Kirk Douglas, Richard Burton and Laurence Olivier.

After her stellar career in film Jean moved onto television where she won an Emmy for "The Thorn Birds" and even played in the much-maligned remake of "Dark Shadows." We have truly lost one of the greats. She will be missed.

Silver Screen Monday

I went to Silver Screen Classics yesterday to catch a film that I have been told several times I need to see - Scarlet Street. Granted, I would have gotten around to getting the disc on my Netflix queue eventually, but trust me, it's always better to see anything, especially a classic film, on the big screen. For those of you not in the know, every Monday at the Showcase at the Ritz in Voorhees NJ, film historian Lou DiCrescenzo presents a classic film from years gone by along with a short subject, all on the big screen.

Scarlet Street is a classic film noir from master director Fritz Lang, starring tough guy Edward G. Robinson playing completely against type. He's a cashier and wannabe artist caught in a web of deceit with femme fatale Joan Bennett and her abusive con artist boyfriend Dan Duryea. Some of us might remember an older Joan Bennett as the matronly Elizabeth Stoddard on "Dark Shadows." Her role here shows she was once very hot stuff. Moody atmospheric and what every film noir should be, I really enjoyed this, and probably more than I would have had I simply seen it on a television screen.

Before the feature, Mr. DiCrescenzo presented a two-reel Mack Sennett comedy starring W.C. Fields called The Barber Shop. Great gags, and he was notably upstaged by both a kid and a dog. Terrific stuff.


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True Blood is Back

The much anticipated return of HBO’s series based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris, “True Blood” debuted its second season starter tonight, and it did not disappoint. When it began last year the flurry of excitement was brought on not just by those who knew the books, but also by HBO’s brilliant viral promotion “Blood Copy.” This time, the excitement is brought on by the pure quality of the first season.

Cliffhangers are tied up immediately, or at least the one that kept most of us losing our minds – that wasn’t Lafayette in the back of the Sheriff’s car. For the rest I’ll leave you guessing, or at least those of you who haven’t seen it yet. And for those of you who haven’t even seen “True Blood” yet – what are you waiting for? Fans of contemporary vampires this is for you, and also fans of the old school – like “Dark Shadows,” this is right up your alley. The first season is on DVD, get on the ball!


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