Strait-Jacket

Strait-Jacket ~ Like Santa Claus, this is one of those films that a fellow manager at my old video store used to run all the time, sometimes as punishment, sometimes for his own amusement. Just as Mommy Dearest was a video store favorite, and we knew all the lines (and some callbacks) just as well as some of us knew The Rocky Horror Picture Show, we also knew the real Joan Crawford films as well, and when I say 'real,' I mean real bad. And bad ranges from the unwatchable Trog to the height of mad horror What Ever Happened to Baby Jane, which is nearly as fun as the aforementioned Rocky.

Here in 1964's Strait-Jacket, directed by William Castle, Joan is just home from the asylum after serving twenty years time for taking an axe to her cheating husband. Now living with her daughter, played by Diane Baker, who introduced the film on the TCM Classic Cruise, when bodies start to pile up, guess who gets the blame? Crawford demanded that Baker play her daughter after the time they had together on The Best of Everything in 1959.

William Castle tackles this tight Robert Bloch story with apt terror and camp, with Joan Crawford dressing up like Mildred Pierce and trying to be a half-her-age seductress. It's fun and scary, with a wonderful plot that fits perfectly and shocks first time viewers. One can see Crawford's control freak hands on many parts of this film. In particular, I loved the big Pepsi advertisement on the table in one scene, a company she owned at the time.

Diane Baker is marvelous, a young George Kennedy is good too, and an even younger Lee Majors as Crawford's cheating husband disavows that he was ever in this movie, which just makes it even more priceless. I loved this, no longer a punishment, but a joy. As always, it is so fun to see these films, even these camp classics, up on the big screen, especially in a palatial theater like on board the Disney Fantasy.

Lady in a Cage

Lady in a Cage ~ There was a time in the sixties when some of the queens of old Hollywood tried to make minor comebacks by appearing in low budget Hitchcock wannabe thrillers. There was Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Trog, and the classic What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?. One might even throw Jane Russell in Born Losers into the mix as well. 1964's Lady in a Cage was Olivia de Havilland's turn.

The premise is simple. De Havilland is a rich white lady recovering from a broken hip. In the days before motorized stair climbers, she has a cage elevator installed. When a power failure stops her midway between floors, she is terrorized by young punks in her own home. She is the Lady in a Cage.

The leader of the tough juvenile delinquents is a very young James Caan, and his savagery is terrifying, reminding me of the similar performances by Martin Sheen and Tony Musante in one of my favorite films, The Incident. Caan is cool cruelty in this role. Also in the cast are Ann Southern, Jeff Corey, Scatman Crothers, and the recently deceased Richard Kiel.

Olivia de Havilland both gives a great performance alone and equally frustrates viewers who might put themselves in the same situation. As mad as one might get at her for not just jumping from the elevator, the rest of the characters are much more hate-able. The film quickly turns to a parable about what monsters people are, and then quickly into a generation gap horror story. There's more here than meets the eye.

What might at first seem silly and dated, is at times a true terror. Not great, but if you're into camp horror in the William Castle vein, you might just dig it.

The Tingler

The Tingler ~ This is a movie with a bit of a reputation. Directed by William Castle, the Barnum of gimmick flicks, the promotional campaign for The Tingler included such bits as the fact that screaming will ward off the creature called the Tingler. And then there's the thing with the seats. In some theaters, several seats were rigged to deliver electrical shocks at certain points in the film. Castle is of course the same man who had skeletons come out of the ceiling and buzz the audience and had nurses make viewers sign waivers in case they died during the movie for other films.

Matinee, directed by Joe Dante, featuring John Goodman as a William Castle-like filmmaker and promoter has also played on this tour so one has to wonder if any shenanigans has been planned for a night's viewing on the penultimate night of the TCM Classics Cruise on board the Disney Magic. The Bride ran into Illeana Douglas, granddaughter of Melvyn Douglas, actress, producer, and TCM host and interviewer - earlier in the day and she said that there would indeed be surprises that night at The Tingler.

The film, starring Vincent Price as a scientist searching for an organism that lives in the human body and feeds off fear, is perhaps Castle's most famous, and also what film promoter and historian Bruce Goldstein is known for. He has shown the film all over the world, and now on the TCM Cruise. For more info on Bruce Goldstein, check out New York's Film Forum and Rialto Pictures, well worth checking out, and in between all that cool stuff, he sets up showings of The Tingler.

For what is already a so bad it's good campy horror b-movie, complete with nearly incomprehensible plot, bad acting, silly special effects, and is practically set up for a MST3K workover, this treatment added so much more. Psychedelic full color light effects highlight the acid trip of the flick, skeletons flying out of the ceiling, and of course, the piece de resistance - the Tingler attacking Illeana Douglas in the front row, all made this performance one of the highlights of the cruise.

I Saw What You Did

I Saw What You Did ~ Back in the old days, before video rentals, before OnDemand, even before cable television, there was only one way to see a particular film - you waited and waited for it to finally show up on standard six channel television. When it was a movie you'd never seen and only heard about, it became sort of an event, and a special memory. I saw The Big Sleep and The Maltese Falcon this way, and also Mothra and the Matt Helm films. There was a certain mystique to the movies you had to watch and wait for each week by scouring the TV Guide.

The original 1965 (it was later a terrible telemovie in the late 1980s that is best forgotten) version of I Saw What You Did was one of those movies, and in recent times it has been made even rarer by its on-again-off-again video and DVD releasing. In an age where almost everything is available, this is indeed a rare film. It's a lucky thing that occasionally TCM gives it a run, usually when honoring its star Joan Crawford, or its genius director William Castle.

Its full title gives a bit of a hint what it is really about. Two teenage girls on a sleepover amuse themselves by making random prank phone calls and saying to the answerer, "I Saw What You Did! And I Know Who You Are!" You can imagine the bedlam that ensues when they call the man who has just murdered his wife. There's the set-up and trademark William Castle hilarity and horror follow. You can understand how the plot of this one can become whispered legend among those watching the TV Guide every week.

In a role originally meant to be only a cameo (although she got top billing and pay) and originally offered to Grayson Hall, later to be known as Dr. Julia Hoffman on "Dark Shadows," Joan Crawford eats up the screen like the film goddess she was in every scene. Her appearance, dressed for flash in the middle of the night, is kinda odd, but then again she's Joan Crawford after all. She proves without a doubt she could easily be the kooky neighbor in a sitcom from any age, and do it with pizzazz.

The two girls, and one's little sister, are terrible, but their kids, so give them a break. John Ireland as the killer is stone-faced and fierce, his looks alone inspiring scares. Some of the shocks and the violence are a bit over the top for the time, and surprising when you think about it in hindsight. It's not Friday the 13th, but it's a bit much for 1965. The initial killing is an ironic turn on the shower scene from Psycho and actually quite well done.

This is, despite what others may tell you, William Castle at his best. I love this flick, and watch it whenever it presents itself. Must see for horror fans, movie fans, and camp fans - funny, scary, quirky, what more could you want? So keep a lookout, just like in the old days, for the next time I Saw What You Did airs, it's worth it.

Quickies 5-14-2010

Starflight One ~ The synopsis for this 1983 gem reads, and I’m not joking, as follows: “By mistake the captain and passengers of the world’s first hypersonic airliner go past Australia, into space.” Also known as Starflight: The Plane That Couldn’t Land, it’s a disaster movie on a low budget telemovie scale starring the semi-warm cast of Lee Majors, Lauren Hutton, Ray Milland, Kirk Cameron, Robert Englund and Hal Linden. Just as bad as it sounds and would be fun if you make a drinking game out of it. This serious version of Airplane II is abysmal and yet sometimes unintentionally funny.

It’s Alive ~ This TV movie from 1968 is pretty cool, and riding on a smooth drive-in horror flick vibe, until you actually see the monster. Wow. This thing, a recycled prop costume from a previous film just as bad as this one, makes the monsters from the old “Doctor Who” TV series look professional. Hell, it makes Barney look like he walked out of Jurassic Park. This one’s okay excluding the monster. With the monster, it’s just terrible. An example of how one ‘special’ effect can ruin an entire flick.

Kitten with a Whip ~ This 1960s exploitation flick is indicative of the genre and one of the best with name stars. Sociopathic prison runaway Ann Margaret chills at aspiring senator John Forsythe’s home Desperate Hours style while the family is on vacation. This couldn’t have been better if William Castle or Roger Corman had directed it.

Yes Man ~ Jim Carrey plays a negative man who through a positive thinking guru forces himself to say yes to everything. Yeah, it’s kinda like Liar Liar only less funny. It’s not as bad as it could be as Zooey Deschanel saves all the scenes she’s in. As much as Zooey is a delight, Jim is equally a hyperactive and sullen brat. Not as bad as it could be, might be worth seeing if nothing else is on, and as long as you don’t pay for it.

Planet 51 ~ Other than the interesting twist of humans and aliens switching roles, which you can see in any of the previews, there’s really no surprises here. It’s fun animation for kids featuring pantless sea monkeys with Alien dogs in a retro 1950s world, along with The Rock being tiredly ironic for ninety minutes. The shine will wear off for adults pretty quickly.

Pineapple Express ~ You know those great action thrillers where some innocent bystanders witness a murder and then spend the rest of the flick being chased by the bad guys? Yeah, now imagine everyone in said flick is a stoner and/or a doper. Yep, you got it, that’s what Pineapple Express is. It’s funny, but it’s probably a lot funnier if you’re high.

Quickies 1-17-2008

Skidoo ~ Nope, it's not a water or snow vehicle. This forgotten Otto Preminger flick from 1968 is a cross between a mob comedy and a generation gap morality play. Great performances by notably Mickey Rooney and also by Groucho Marx as a germaphobic mob boss named “God.” Carol Channing is fun as an old bimbo and you have to see to believe Jackie Gleason on acid. Speaking of drugs, rumor has it Grouncho first tried marijuana on the set of this film. Also look for cameos by Otto’s (Mr. Freeze) fellow “Batman” baddies Ceasar (Joker) Romero, Burgess (Penguin) Meredith and Frank (Riddler) Gorshin.

Voice of the Whistler ~ I was surprised by this B-flick based on the old radio program “The Whistler” as it was directed by William Castle. You can see the beginnings of the man’s skills and gimmicks even here. Nice surprise.

Stay Alive ~ This was another surprise as I expected yet another mindless serial killer flick in the mode of Final Destination or Jeepers Creepers. This flick by writer/director William Brent Bell has a group of teenagers playing a game that kills you in real life when you are yoinked in the game. Much cooler than it sounds. Look for “Malcolm in the Middle” all grown up and nerdy.

Incident at Loch Ness ~ This one is the evil opposite of the above, nowhere near as cool as it sounds. It’s a mockumentary following director Werner Herzog as he tries to make a movie about the Loch Ness monster. Reality TV at its worst.