Howard the Duck

Back in the day, before the internet, when newspapers (yeah, remember them?) would do their occasional slow news day story on how comics weren't just for kids any more, there would always be certain elements brought up. First off, they'd have most of their facts wrong, second the headline would have a lame Batman '66 sound effect in the headline, and third, they'd be talking about one of three characters - the Shazam! Captain Marvel, Judge Dredd, or Howard the Duck. The thrust of the article was always comics are for adults now, wow, who woulda thunk it? with an undertone of old comics are worth money. Both of these myths helped to derail how comics are perceived today.

These inaccurate newspaper articles are where I first encountered Howard the Duck, usually on the cover of the first issue of his titular series, with a cigar in his mouth, a sword in his hand, and Spider-Man on the inset of the cover. There was also a scantily dressed woman behind him and the banner that read, "Trapped in a world he never made!" I had no idea at twelve what any of that meant. So I never picked up the book.

A duck in the mostly superhero Marvel Universe didn't make sense to me. Sure he had weird scifi fantasy origins but he first appeared in the Man-Thing horror comics, and Marvel horror wasn't something I'd pick up on until much later. Howard was just weird, he looked like Donald Duck from Hell, and of course now might be a good time to mention Disney (before they owned Marvel) sued to make Howard wear pants, removing some of the litigious similarities.

When the Howard the Duck comic strip showed up in my local paper (those things again?) I just didn't get it. I dismissed it as too smart for the room like Doonesbury or any of the other political stuff. Then came Iron Duck. This was the first issue of Howard the Duck I ever picked up, almost four years into his run. This parody of Iron Man was the reason I bought it, and therein I learned not just that Howard was a master of Quack Fu, but that his foe in that issue was a guy named Doctor Bong. This villain wore a bell on his head and hit it with his clapper hand to make horrible sounds. I was sold.

I guess by then I was old enough to get it, and after that I really dug Howard the Duck. I understood what a genius creator Steve Gerber was to create a character that only entertained, but also commented on society. This was so cool. And then Marvel took Howard away from Gerber in a web of legal complexity too big to get into here, and the Duck vanished for a bit. Little did I know that when Howard returned, it would get worse.

The late summer of 1986 saw the release of George Lucas' Howard the Duck, which was, believe it or not, Marvel's first theatrical release. Although Lucas had originally intended it to be animated, it was unfortunately live-action, which of course made the idea of a talking duck ridiculous. We ended up with a little person in a bad duck costume. Things did not get better from there.

Howard the Duck is frequently acknowledged as not only one of Lucas' biggest bombs, but also as one of the worst movies ever made. The film stars Lea Thompson as a barely recognizable Bev, Howard's human female companion, Tim Robbins as a scientist, and Jeffrey Jones as another scientist possessed by a Dark Overlord of the Universe, the villain of the piece. No one shines here, even Thompson who's trying awkwardly to start a musical career. Also Broadway's Chip Zien provides the voice of Howard. I think Ed Gale was in the duck suit.

The scientists are trying open up dimensional gateways, and end up pulling Howard from Duckworld, and also pulling in a cosmic nasty called the Dark Overlord of the Universe. The thrust of the movie is all about getting that genie back in the bottle to save the Earth. As if the duck suit isn't embarrassing enough, the opening credits sequence shows us quite a bit of Duckworld, which is filled with more embarrassing duck suits. The opener also features the sad John Barry score. It's good, but so wrong for the film. Apparently Barry thought he was scoring a slow noir or a sixties melodrama.

The more modern music of the film was one of the few things I did like. How could I not like a collaboration between Thomas Dolby and George Clinton, two of my faves? Dolby did most of the music, and even those songs attributed to Lea Thompson and her band 'Cherry Bomb.' Yeah, I confess, this is a guilty pleasure, but I dig the music. The soundtrack is no longer available but I have a few of them still.

I remembered hating this flick the first time I saw it back in 1986, and I have to say, it's still pretty bad the second time around. There's so much to struggle through - Howard as a lapsed rocker who becomes Bev's manager, their bizarre relationship that was made even more bizarre in the movie, and special effects nowhere near Lucasfilm's usual output. I only laughed once, when Jeffrey Jones says, in the Dark Overlord's voice, "She took my eggs." at a diner. It's become a running joke with friends ever since. And let's not even talk about Jeffrey Jones' hentai tongue.

Rumor says that overall Steve Gerber thought the essence of Howard and Bev made it into the film. Honestly I don't see it. I really don't see Howard at all, but if it's any consolation, I don't think I've seen the real Howard since the seventies in the comics, since Gerber left him. The film is not recommended, please do check out some of the original comics though.

The Special Fourth of July All Things Fun! New Comics Vidcast

The All Things Fun! New Comics Vidcast is shot live every week at All Things Fun! - the area's best comics and gaming store, located in West Berlin, NJ.

Co-hosts Ed (Invincible) Evans, Allison (No-Marvel Girl) Eckel, and Glenn (Ozymandias) Walker discuss the new comics out this week in wicked high definition video, and also available on the YouTube. See it here!

Discussion featured in this week's special Fourth of July episode includes: The Walking Dead #100 and the Midnight Release Event, Batman Earth One, Earth 2 #3, Worlds' Finest #3, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe #1 by James Robinson, the JT Krul fan club, how to pronounce Ozymandias, Red Lanterns #11, DK's Batman The World of the Dark Knight, Fairest #5, Amazing Spider-Man #689, AvsX #7, Ed's X-books, straight Punisher, Deadpool and funny Marvel names, Steve Gerber's Infernal Man-Thing #1, Invincible #93, Allison's kids comics, and Ed's trades.



Be sure to check out the patriotic new All Things Fun! website, and the All Things Fun! Blogs, by Allison and Glenn, and ATF! on YouTube.

Special thanks go to Dina Evans who keeps us all in line, and on the straight and narrow, as well as running the show from behind the scenes.

And be back here every Wednesday (or Tuesdays at midnight) to watch the new broadcast, and thereafter throughout the week!

Best of 2008: Everything Else

In my opinion, the best movies of 2008:

High School Musical 3, Mamma Mia!, Iron Man, Wall-E, Speed Racer, 21, Hancock, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, Premonition and Justice League: The New Frontier.

Movies not from 2008, but I saw for the first time this year and loved: Déjà Vu, Last Holiday, Man of the Century, Girl 27, Crash (2004), Shoot ‘Em Up, and the absolutely brilliant The Man from Earth.

The best things from the internet in 2008:

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Stephen King’s "N," Watchmen Motion Comics, BloodRayne A Fan Film, Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips podcast, Derrick Ferguson and Thomas Deja's Better in the Dark podcast and The Writing Show podcast.

The best comic books of 2008:

Jonah Hex, Trinity by Kurt Busiek and Mark Bagley, Geoff Johns' Action Comics, Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch's Fantastic Four, Gail Simone's Wonder Woman, Lone Ranger, Countdown to Mystery, Brave and the Bold, Joe Casey's Godland, and Garth Ennis' brilliant revival of British space hero Dan Dare.

The best music videos of 2008 in my opinion:

"4 Minutes" by Madonna and Justin Timbalake w/Timbaland, "Rockstar" by Nickleback, "Dream On" and "Konichiwa Bitches" by Robyn and Pink's "So What."



Folks and things I’ve discovered in 2008 that probably didn’t actually happen in 2008:

Robin Renee, Os Seminovos, the “Coverage” album by Mandy Moore, Lacuna Coil, Hollywood Undead, Vitamin String Quartet and just how really good Suzi Quatro was and is.

Steve Gerber 1947-2008

Steve Gerber passed away yesterday. This is truly a sad sad time for the comics industry as one of its great innovators has died.

Gerber was probably best known for co-creating Howard the Duck, a character despite attempted butchery for the silver screen by George Lucas, was one of the most original concepts in decades. My first exposure to Howard was an issue of his series where an armored Howard became 'Iron Duck' and battled a seriously demented baddie named Dr. Bong who would club himself in his bell-shaped helmet with a bong-shaped to make loud headache-causing booms. Then I cam across Stephen King's "The Stand," where King described the reluctant hero as ridiculous and reason comics had gone to hell. It wasn't until later I realized what a brilliant, subtle and hilarious satire on our world Howard the Duck really was. Gerber was/is a genius.

Steve Gerber wrote many comics and characters over the years, including for Marvel Comics - Man-Thing, Omega the Unknown, Simon Garth the Zombie, Shanna the She-Devil, Son of Satan, Daredevil, Iron Man, She-Hulk, Hawkeye, the Guardians of the Galaxy and the rock band Kiss.

Far and above, for me at least, was his work on the Defenders, Marvel's premiere non-team. His run on that title was among the wildest, off-the-wall and coolest I've ever read in any comic. Gerber made the Defenders different, he made them demented, he made them cool. Among his concepts for the title were the additions of Luke Cage and the Red Guardian, the unbelievable Headmen, Korvac, Valkyrie's husband Jack Norris and the infamous Elf with a Gun. These were some of the most fun comics to read, ever.

Steve Gerber also did work for the independents with Destroyer Duck, Exiles and Stewart the Rat. His DC Comics work includes the amazing revival of Mister Miracle with late artist Marshall Rogers, and also work on Doctor Fate as a back-up in The Flash.

He also worked extensively in animation, winning an Emmy for his work on "The New Batman/Superman Adventures," and was also involved in other eries like "Dungeons & Dragons," "Transformers," "GI Joe" and "Thundarr the Barbarian."

Gerber recently returned to DC to work on the new Doctor Fate mini-series in Countdown to Mystery. It's probably one of the finest things on the shelves right now. He passed while in the process of writing this one. He will be missed. By me. By many. Rest in peace, man.

Man-Thing

"MOVIE THING"

A Television Review of the film "Man-Thing" broadcast on the SciFi Channel.

Copyright © 2005, Glenn Walker

The film version of Man-Thing supposedly was made and meant for theatrical release, as I've just viewed it on the SciFi Channel, I would guess those plans fell through. Granted, the Man-Thing is no Spider-Man, Hulk or X-Men, but that doesn't meant the concept couldn't hold its own on the big screen, or does it?

My sister, a big SciFi Channel fan, and I have discussed the schedule for that network on weekends quite a bit. Weekends seem to be a dumping ground for the absolute worst Z-grade scifi and horror films currently being made. Most notorious for flicks about giant snakes, alien abductions and guest starring Kari Wuhrer and Billy Baldwin, this death slot of bad television is where they aired Man-Thing - Saturday night at nine PM, prime time.

In the comics, Man-Thing is something of a footnote for various reasons. The concept is one of the true coincidences in the comics world, where two major publishers have had roughly the same idea at the exact same time. There was the Vision and the Red Tornado, Crisis on Infinite Earths and Secret Wars, and Man-Thing and Swamp Thing.
Both Man-Thing and Swamp Thing were men that were by horrible consequences transformed into bog creatures, and they both debuted on the stands simultaneously. Marvel's Man-Thing, created by Steve Gerber (also of Howard the Duck, another fantastic character crucified and disemboweled by Hollywood), had decidedly less success than DC's Swamp Thing however.

Man-Thing also had a great tagline - "Whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man-Thing!" If only the stories and the characters matched that line or even halfway lived up to the hype. While Man-Thing lasted, riding the wave of early 1970s Marvel horror, it did make a mark and remains a fixture and fan favorite in today's comics. Appearances with such other obtuse characters like the Hulk, Howard the Duck and the Micronauts were memorable.

The Man-Thing's most notorious claim to fame however might be the dangerous double entendre it gained in the mid-1970s with a companion title. At the time, Marvel was publishing larger books with bigger stories and added reprints of most of its books, called Giant-Sized books. You guessed it, thus was born Giant-Size Man-Thing, still legendary to this day. Despite what some folks may think, the book was still about a swamp creature and had nothing to do with what you're thinking. Shame on you!

From Lions Gate and Marvel Productions, we now have the movie. Despite being made for theatrical release and having a slamming soundtrack, the film does have the stink of a Saturday night SciFi Channel offering. Badly written, no name actors and a sad, pitiful premise where a reasonable, simpler one would have worked better.
The cinematic Man-Thing is an eco-champion, preying on evil industrialists who pollute and corrupt nature. He's (it's?) also a monster in the most fundamental manner. Shambling about, growling and staying in the dark for most of the time to hide any shabby special effects, he takes out The Man and helps out the bayou natives and Earth-friendly folk. Here Man-Thing is definitely more Bigfoot than Swamp Thing when you come right down to it.

When we do actually do see Man-Thing, the face is pretty close to the comics with the three roots hanging down and the piercing red eyes. However, the rest of the body is a whole other thing, or, pun intended, Man-Thing. Too skinny and too many wild, apparently sentient, and very Dr. Octopus-like roots to do its bidding are the highlights of this Man-Thing.

The story was slow and contrived, and especially cliched. Prophecy from 1979 did it much better. Nice touch though having a character named Ploog, named after artist Mike Ploog who depicted the swamp creature back in the 1970s, it proves the folks in charge at least had clue about the source material.

This could have been good. Director Brett Leonard has had quite a few misses, but when he hits (the highly underrated cyberpunk thriller Virtuosity and the absolutely brilliant Shock to the System) he hits hard. Shame he didn't put that kind of effort into Man-Thing. In related comics news however, the writer of this one, Hans Rodionoff is also rumored to be working on a script for another 1970s Marvel horror, Werewolf by Night.

An R-rated version of Man-Thing debuts in DVD on June 14th. Now maybe if they make a sequel, and Sci-Fi is notorious for making sequels to movies that by every right under the sun shouldn't be made, maybe they'll call it Giant-Size Man-Thing.