American Idol, Again?

I remember when Neil Young sang those immortal words, "it's better to burn out than fade away." The Bride wanted to watch "American Idol" again this year, so I've been shanghaied into half-watching it as well. There's something to be said about 'burning out' and going out on top or at least close to it. That said, I think "American Idol" has been fading away for the better part of a decade.

I've been watching the show since the beginning and have enjoyed it, bought the songs on iTunes, voted like crazy, entered betting pools, and loved the water cooler talk the next day. But the show's better days are long gone. I barely paid attention last season, and the last time I was excited about AI was when Nicki Minaj was a judge, and that was a while ago.

I tried to watch the first two episodes, that's four hours, folks, and even though it was in the audition phase - when we see the raw superstars and pure train wrecks, arguably the best part of any season - I was bored out of my mind. And it's not that this type of program has gone out of style or popularity either. Both similar programs like "The Voice" and "America's Got Talent" thrive in this current television environment. I think the truth is that "American Idol" just sucks, or to soften the blow, this incarnation of it sucks.

As I half-watched, it's as if this season picked up directly from the last - nothing has changed. The judges, once entertaining, now seem hamstrung, and hesitating and struggling to tell contestants the truth. It is painfully obvious that steps have been taken to make the show more positive and uplifting, so the freak show (and ratings bonanza) that the audition phase has always been, is now dull and less entertaining. Gone are the days of She-Bang and Princess Leia, and it's a sad thing.

We need the freaks back, and we also need the mean back. No one on this show seems capable of telling the contestants what sometimes they need to hear - that they suck. Simon Cowell was the driving force that made this show successful in my opinion, and his "X-Factor" never even came close to matching his performances on AI. Someone needs to be mean and truthful. The new judges can't even be subtle. Keith Urban does the saddest excuse for a Paula Abdul "Nice shirt" comment. I think, "American Idol," it's been a nice run, but it's time to die. Pack it up.

Idol's Last Hurrah

Even with Syria the top story in the news (and no, I still won't be writing about it), today was a relatively slow news day, and still keeping a low profile amidst the lack of news was the final announcement of the judges on the upcoming thirteenth season of "American Idol."

To make it official, Ryan Seacrest will continue to host the Fox series, and along with returning judges from last season, Randy Jackson and Keith Urban, he will be joined by the returning Jennifer Lopez from season ten, and longtime "AI" friend and fan Harry Connick, Jr. So no Dr. Luke as rumored, no Mariah Carey, and saddest of all, for me at least, no Nicki Minaj.

Without Simon Cowell, the show lost most of its punch and charisma as far as I was concerned, and Nicki Minaj made it worth watching for me. Even the contestants were bland last season, Idol's lowest rated season ever, and Nicki made it entertaining for me, and really she was the only reason to watch. With the new/old crew set for season thirteen, I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling it, and I might not be watching.

The New American Idol

There's a whole new game going on at Fox's "American Idol" this season, specifically in the way of three new judges. Randy Jackson stays on as the only remaining original judge, but he is joined by country singer Keith Urban, hip hop media superstar Nicki Minaj, and the legendary Mariah Carey. The problem is, as I and others have talked about here and there, indications are that the newbies get along like gasoline and fire.

"American Idol" premiered with its twelfth season last week with two two-hour episodes featuring contestant auditions. Audition week is the best part of the show, it's also the most watched and talked about, mostly because its s freak show. Not as much as it used to be sadly. Like hockey and lacrosse have been neutered by having the fighting taken away, we now have less freaks on "Idol." I suspect the ratings have suffered as well.

But of course that's not the freak show most of America has tuned in for this season.

Before the premiere, the powers that be have been wisely playing up the Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey feud. Controversy breeds popularity. We all knew Nicki was crazy, I mean it's a fact. Bitch cra-zay. But I think we, America as a whole, had forgotten the lunacy level of Mariah because that is a whole different planet of crazy. I think when we get to the live shows, Fox should just douse them both in gasoline as a preemptive strike because this is going to be bad, very bad.

The funny part is that Mariah comes off as a real bitch, to my mind at least. She acts superior and too good for the show more often than not. Nicki is actually pretty entertaining in a crazy way. In the four hours I watched last week, she won me over. I was disappointed to see Steven Tyler go, even more so to see Simon Cowell go a few seasons before, but I am digging Nicki, and I wasn't that big a fan before this. I love it when she does the fake British accent and Mariah winces. And hey, Nicki namedropped Kate Bush on prime time American network television, so I'm on her side.

Keith Urban is interesting. I was surprised to find out he was a New Zealander. I don't really think he adds all that much however. The poor guy has to sit between Mariah and Nicki, and quite honestly, as far as his judging skills go, he's the male equivalent of Paula Abdul. I keep waiting for him to say "Nice shirt." to a contestant.

I also feel bad for Randy holding this all together. I wonder if he might snap before Nicki and Mariah kill each other. I have noticed that he seems to have turned his filter off. If somebody is awful, he tells them right away a la Simon Cowell.

Well, I've been here with "American Idol" for eleven seasons, and I think, because of Nicki Minaj, believe it or not, I will hang on a bit for season twelve. Let's see what happens.