DEATH IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM

A Video Review of "Mr. Deeds"

Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker

Right up front, I have not seen this movie. I will not see this movie. I will never see this movie. It's got that warning label on it. The one that says "starring Adam Sandler."

In the past month I was diagnosed with renal failure, chronic heart failure, anemia, arrhythmia, parathyroidosis and several other things I can neither pronounce nor spell. I now have a pacemaker and a defibrillator and have to go to dialysis three times a week. I've have had more invasive and painful tests and procedures than I can count. In short, I think I know something about pain and suffering.

For that reason I am not seeing Mr. Deeds. Life is too short for that kind of pain and suffering.

Rent the original Mr. Deeds Goes to Town and see a real movie. No pain. Guaranteed.

****

The above was my original review of Mr. Deeds. In hindsight I felt a review of a movie I had not seen seemed unfair so I finally watched it. Maybe I'm a masochist because I am hard pressed to think of something else I've regretted more.

I hate him. I hate Adam Sandler. Most of all I hate when he does his stupid voices. The ones he used in The Waterboy and Little Nicky are enough to make me want to take my own life. When characters in a Stephen King movie affect a New England accent it brings a sense of place. When Adam Sandler affects his New England accent in Mr. Deeds it brings bile into my throat.

The premise is a pizzeria owner inherits $40 billion dollars and hilarity ensues. In the hands of a talented comedian or even your moderately amusing cousin this would be a laugh riot. In Sandler's hands this is something to show prisoners on death row as punishment.

The rest of the cast should be ashamed of themselves. Peter Gallagher's performance is as bad as his moustache. Steve Buscemi is embarrassing as always in Adam Sandler films. I love the guy but I think he might owe Sandler money. Winona Ryder is tragically bad. No wonder she turned to shoplifting.

Mr. Deeds is a film that would make Gary Cooper, star of the original Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, spin in his grave. It is also a film that makes heart failure look good.

The above review originally appeared in a slightly different form at the Project Popcorn website at:

http://www.whitevioletpictures.com/popcorn/