Immortals

Immortals ~ Okay, I've admit it. I've had this DVD sitting on my coffee table for at least two months. I'm not lazy or careless. It's just that with Netflix's streaming service to my iPhone, my Nook, my laptop, and the PS3... well, the snail mail discs sort of get forgotten. Immortals sure did, like I said, for at least two months. So if you're still doing it by mail on Netflix, and have been waiting for Immortals, yeah, it's me, I've got it. I'm a bad Netflixter. I'll send it back shortly, I promise.

At this point I don't even remember much about it. I know it's mythology based. I know it was released theatrically on 11-11-11, a hard date to forget, and that the date morphed into the title in the previews. I also know it's got a lot of motion capture in it like 300, Watchmen, and Sucker Punch. Beyond that, I don't remember much, let alone why I put it on my Netflix queue.

Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes and more into the film, it is dark, and boring. Yeah, I know. They have taken something that I love, mythology, and made it boring. Adding to the difficulty of the task, they have fictionalized it, added state of the art special effects, and made mythology boring. Although, to say they are really sticking to the myths in question would be a kindness. Loosely based is the broad term here. Did I mention how dark the film is? At times it was almost like a radio production.

I was pleased to see John Hurt for the short time he was on screen. He was playing the old guy, you know the Hollywood star of yesterday they always have in these bad myth movies. He at least acts. I am now very worried for the upcoming Man of Steel film, because the cardboard cut out that plays Theseus here in Immortals is cast as Superman. That film could be worse than the last one based on Henry Cavill's performance here.

I didn't recognize Mickey Roarke until halfway through the movie. Stephen Dorff equally phones it in. I guess the actors thought that because no one would actually be able to see this movie because it was so dark, they could just phone it in. I didn't like Immortals, even a little bit. I didn't hate it, I was just bored. I guess it's good for a nap.