Never Going Back to My Old School...

The eleventh season of the American "Big Brother" premiered tonight on CBS. The reality TV series focuses on a number of individuals living together in one house for an extended amount of time, isolated from the outside world, participating in competitions and voting each other out until only one remains to collect a huge cash prize.

I've been a fan since the first season. Notably the American edition is slightly different from the dozens of versions done in countries across the globe. You see, Americans are stupid and have shorter attention spans. That's apparently why the show seems to attract such idiots - or at least that's my theory. Basically, if I like a contestant, either America, or the rest of the idiot housemates, won't - and they'll get voted off. It's such a sure thing, I should bet money.

There are some contestants introduced tonight that I genuinely liked - Ronnie the gamer, Lydia the girl with the ink, and especially Kevin the graphic designer. But they are immediately doomed when this season's surprise premise is announced. We are always told to 'expect the unexpected' when it comes to the seasonly themes, and this season's - well, it instantly put my initial faves in the bullseye.

The theme for "Big Brother 11" is high school, as the housemates are separated by clique - just like high school. The cliques are: the Athletes, the Popular, the Brains, and the Offbeat. For the last two, please feel free to substitute the words geek, dork, nerd, or whatever works for you - the kids that the first two groups would beat on, call names, shove in lockers and give wedgies to. Hell, even the first competition included, guess what, wedgies.

When it was said the theme was high school, guess which group said they would never go back to high school, and guess which group said they loooved high school, and guess which group had looks of utter horror on their faces? And gee, I wonder who's going to win? I know I hated high school and I know I would never want to go back to high school, even for money and national television exposure.

Probably the biggest kick in the teeth is that the winners of the wedgie competition got an extra member to their clique who would become the Head of Household for the week. For beginners, the HoH is the one who chooses who gets voted out each week. That extra member (for the Athletes, because who else would be best at the art of wedgie?) was a cast member from last season - the king of idiots in my opinion, Jessie, whose muscles seem to have overwhelmed his small brain.

Hmmm... I wonder who's going home this week? I should make my cash money bet now. it'll be folks from the Brains or the Offbeat, and probably at least one of my favorites. Just like every other season of "Big Brother," and even more just like high school. I wonder if the next competition will involve being stuffed in a locker or swirlies?


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