The Train Wreck Power of the Van Halen Press Conference

You know that feeling when you pass a car accident? That compulsion to look even though you don't want to? That's what any Van Halen press conference is all about. It seems like any time David Lee Roth gets back together with his old bandmates disaster ensues. I'm sure that, despite appearances, it will end that way again. Just wait.

The new/old line-up of Van Halen includes Eddie Van Halen, post rehab, a lot thinner and not seeming to crack a smile at all - yep, just what you want in a VH line-up, a man with no sense of humor. If you're thinking he must be quite a fun dad, look no further than Wolfgang Van Halen, the offspring of Eddie and Valerie Bettinelli, who appears to have gained all the weight his dad has apparently lost. I'm betting Wolfie will be the first to bail, even before Roth. David Lee Roth on the other hand (nice toupee, Dave) will probably fight to stay as long as he can; he certainly has no chance in radio again. Alex Van Halen is probably still there because he has nothing better to do, and he doesn't talk. All good points when it comes to his brother and band leader Eddie.

Notably missing is founding member Michael Anthony who one assumes is being punished for touring with ex-lead singer Sammy Hagar. Hagar is also persona non grata as are other former lead singers Gary Cherone, Ambush Bug and Squirrel Girl. No love lost with this band.

Watching this particular train wreck, I have to notice how much Dave talks too much, and how Eddie looks on disapprovingly throughout. Sooner or later, Dave's chatterboxing, which was so endearing two decades ago, will make Eddie strangle him in my opinion. And have Alex and Wolfgang been trained by Eddie not to talk out of turn? Humorless drill sergeant Eddie makes Evel Dick on "Big Brother 8" look like father of the year. Surely I'm not the only one who watched this press conference waiting for the fistfight to break out? My goodness, this is just like Nascar!

Personally I give this version of the band to the end of the year tops.