Sunday, May 20, 2007

Eurovision Automatic Finalists

Saturday 5-12-2007
Eurovision Automatic Finalists

The rules to the Eurovision Song Contest stipulate that the countries that placed in the top ten in the previous year, plus Germany, France, Spain and the United Kingdom, all are guaranteed spots as finalists in the following year’s contest. I’ve already covered all the entrants in the semi-finals – here are those who were originally guaranteed spots:

Germany – “Frauen Regier’n Die Welt” by Roger Cicero. Intriguing old time crooning by Roger, complete with 1940s Frank Sinatra wardrobe. I just wish I knew what he was saying. Seriously though the song, translated “Women rule the world” is a celebration of equality and recognition.

France – “L’Amour A La Francaise” by Les Fatals Picards. A catchy pop tune sung in what could only be described as Frenglish. The band was formed in 2000 but remains the vision of lead singer Ivan.

Spain – “I Love You Mi Vida” by D’Nash. More boy band nonsense, only with a Spanish taste… Menudo grown up? Sigh, isn’t that trend over yet? Hmmm, I guess not, hair metal seems to be quite a rage again in Europe, so why not boy bands too?

United Kingdom – “Flying the Flag (For You)” by Scooch. Are they sure they entered a song contest and not a sketch contest? This is sheer camp with some music thrown in. And it seriously makes me worry about flying British Air. I mean, is it me, or is this a musical version of “The High Life”?

Armenia – “Anytime You Need” by Hayko. This touching ballad is sung by Armenia’s award-winning superstar, the single-named Hayko. While an excellent entry, I doubt it can hold its own against some of the louder and more danceable competition.

Bosnia & Herzegovina – “Rijeka Bez Imena” by Maria Sestic. Pretty but forgettable.

Finland – “Leave Me Alone” by Hanna Pakarinen. Hanna is a veteran to the Finland music with gold and platinum records to her name. While she is certainly no Lordi, her pop rock entry is among the best entries this year, it’s almost as if she’s channeling Amy Lee, and that’s a good thing.

Greece – “Yassou Maria” by Sarbel. I can see this one easily being a hot Latin hit in America. Very Ricky Martin-esque.

Ireland – “They Can’t Stop the Spring” by Dervish. Traditional Irish folk music, which normally I like, but did they really expect to get far in this contest with this tune? Their official Eurovision bio says that Dervish has a command of a variety of modern songs, so where is that here?

Lithuania – “Love or Leave” by Julija Ritcik. Someone get this chick some coffee quick.

Romania – “Liubi, Liubi, I Love You” by Todomondo. When does it end? I think I’d rather listen to Lithuania’s entry again. Kill me now. Are we sure this isn’t a joke entry? Or a Raffi song?

Russia – “Song #1” by Serebro. Kind of like the Pussycat Dolls with more guitars. As long as they don’t do the disco version tonight, they stand a good chance to win in my opinion.

Sweden – “The Worrying Kind” by The Ark. Let’s say Gary Glitter got drunk and raided Elton John’s 1970s wardobe… got the image? Yeah, that’s The Ark. The song’s not bad, very retro, sort of a throwback to the early seventies rock, but when you have to look at them too… it’s giggle time, folks.

Ukraine – “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” by Verka Serduchka. This can only be described as glam accordion folk rock. It must be seen to be believed, and it will make you want “Vampires Are Alive” back in your head.

Your final participants for tonight: Germany, France, Spain, United Kingdom, Armenia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Finland, Greece, Ireland, Lithuania, Romania, Russia, Sweden, Ukraine, Belarus, Macedonia, Slovenia, Hungary, Georgia, Latvia, Serbia, Bulgaria, Turkey and Moldova. Let the party begin!

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