Octopussy

Octopussy ~ Confession time, I've never seen Octopussy in its entirety until fairly recently. I didn't see it in the theater, even though I was in college by then and could have. I guess at that point I just didn't care any more about Bond.

By the time Octopussy came out I had spent the seventies watching James Bond on ABC movies of the week. I loved them, watched them every time, edited or not. I had even been lured to the library to read the source material by Ian Fleming, being chastised by the librarian, bless her heart, that I was too young (junior high school) for "that trash." Shame on me!

But as far as the movies go, I had long before figured out that Sean Connery was the man, and that Roger Moore in his ridiculous indestructible tuxedo was only playing it for laughs. That said of course, Live and Let Die remains a favorite guilty pleasure. It would finally take both Duran Duran and Grace Jones to get me into a theater with Bond and Moore in A View to a Kill, but I think we all know what a mistake that would be.

Like many Bond films 'based' on Fleming work, the jump from page to screen is just cray-cray. Only the title and character are lifted from the short story collection "Octopussy and The Living Daylights," although a scene from another story therein, "The Property of a Lady," is included in the film. Even as a sniggering teenager I thought Fleming's femme fatale names were a bit much, and 'Octopussy' was just waaay over the top.

The movie comes from a time when Bond was mad camp, constantly trying to one up itself from the last entry. Seriously one could put a bat-costumed Adam West in some of these situations and it would be more serious. A tale of Faberge eggs, killer circuses, and a smuggler named Octopussy, it just does not hold my attention well. I think I would rather watch the non-canon remake of Thunderball, Never Say Never Again, released in the same year, at least that was exciting. This one breaks a cardinal Bond rule - it's boring.

There are some spectacular stunts, some beautiful locales, and a better than average theme by Rita Coolidge, but it's just not good enough. Roger Moore is showing his years, his toupee, and his disdain for the role. Maud Adams doesn't have the charisma her character demands in all of her scenes. And Moore in the clown suit and the gorilla suit... is just shameful and embarrassing. I think I'll skip this one if it comes on again, a disappointment.

Freaks of Nature

Freaks of Nature ~ You ever have one of those moments where you're watching a movie on cable you really like, it ends, and then as another movie starts you realize you can't find the TV remote? Yeah, that's how I found Freaks of Nature, and I'm kinda glad I did.

We're asked to accept a lot in this movie about the teenagers and citizens of the town of Dilford. Here, humans, vampires, and zombies semi-peacefully co-exist. That is until the aliens show up and paranoia turns them all against each other. The vampires are evil and manipulating, the zombies are brain-obsessed eating machines, and the teenagers are, well, teenagers.

At its core, Freaks of Nature is a good old fashioned 1980s teen sex comedy in the mode of Fast Times at Ridgemont High or Better Off Dead, more about the kids and high school than any of its supernatural and science fiction trappings. No matter what camp you fall into, it's all about fitting in and dealing with parents and growing up.

As the aliens make their demands known and the factions in this weird town must come together, things get even weirder, but it was cool.  I actually enjoyed this a lot more than I ever would have suspected. And the supporting cast is full of great comedic actors including Patton Oswalt, Keegan-Michael Key, Joan Cusack, and Denis Leary. Recommended, if you can catch it on cable (or if you lose your remote), check it out.

What Hydra Really Is

Those of you who follow my work know how I feel about the current comics situation with Captain America and Secret Empire. If you don't, my thoughts on Captain America as a Hydra agent can be found here, here, here, here, here, and here, and the new crossover event Secret Empire here and here. Suffice it to say, reality was warped and Captain America is, and always has been an agent of Hydra, and in Secret Empire he makes his move as a major super-villain and takes over the planet in the name of Hydra.

Much has been made of what Hydra is and isn't, with many folks equating this organization with the Third Reich and Nazism. When the group was created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby for Strange Tales #135 in 1965, they were essentially a modern day group of adversaries designed for Captain America who could take the place of the Nazis he routinely trounced in World War II.

Later, in a series by Jonathan Hickman that retconned much of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s history as well as that of Hydra, the organization was described as ancient, East Asian, and having origins going back centuries before the Third Reich. Those of you who have watched "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." are aware of this retcon when the team fought the extraterrestrial creature called Hive. Hydra moved even farther from its Nazi origins when the Marvel Cinematic Universe made a point of referring to them as the science branch of the Third Reich which broke off into its own thing.

But even if you want to play this retroactive continuity game, here are the facts. Baron Zemo, Arnim Zola, Baron Von Strucker, and the Red Skull were all Nazis. They are all fascists, anti-Semites, genocidal maniacs, bent on world domination. They have all worn swastikas. Is it a coincidence they are also all founders of Hydra? If it quacks like a duck, folks...

So, anyone who knows what a metaphor knows what I'm talking about. Hydra equals Nazis, no matter what anyone says, and Marvel should be ashamed to have their symbol of freedom, the superheroic icon who began his career by punching Hitler in the mouth, become one of them. His creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby would be sick over this, and Marvel should do what is right - apologize, and sweep this whole demented Secret Empire concept away and forget it ever happened. And pray that your readers forget it ever happened.

Free Comic Book Day 2017

Having recently moved to Florida from New Jersey and not getting that many comics any more, I was at a loss as to what to do for Free Comic Book Day this year. I dearly miss All Things Fun! up in my home state, along with Ed, Dina, and Allison, who I did the All Things Fun! New Comics Vidcast with (which you can still see here), but it's just too far a drive these days.

The Bride and I decided to drop in at a newer comic shop here in downtown Lakeland, Uncanny Heroes. They had Darth Vader, Chewbacca, George Lowe from "Space Ghost Coast to Coast," and a DeLorean parked out front, I was sold, let's stay a while. Having Max 98.3 FM broadcasting live and barbequed hot dogs and burgers was just a bonus as far as I was concerned – Uncanny knows how to celebrate Free Comic Book Day. I picked up a handful of the free comics, a cool Krypto shirt, and Batman/Shadow #1. Here's what I thought of some of the books:

Batman/Shadow ~ I was wary of this one as my friend and podcast partner Ray thought I might like it. Anyone who listens to The GAR! Podcast knows that's never a good sign. I can't say I hated this, but I didn't like it either. The Shadow is the antagonist here, not the way I want it, and Scott Snyder and Steve Orlando get it right except which side of the law the Shadow is on, and I did love the Maniaks reference. This book earned a second issue and a second chance, but a tentative one.

From the free comics I picked up Riverdale, which was very readable but in the long run not as enjoyable as Archie Comics of the past. Very hooked into the CW show of the same name these two tales are set in that continuity. And if you dig the show, there's a cool character guide in the back of this one.

In anticipation of the upcoming live-action The Tick series on Amazon (I loved the pilot) I picked up that comic, fun but not as good as it used to be. Hmmm, seems to be a pattern. Underdog, from American Mythology, the company that currently publishes Eagle, was fun, with both a new story and an old one. I just may pick up the new Underdog comic based on this. And then there's Wonder Woman. I was not a fan of Greg Rucka when he wrote the character before and I remain unimpressed.

The Bride picked up a few of her own as well. The nice thing about Uncanny Heroes is they had no limit on how many free comics you could get. It's important to note that even though the comics are free to customers, the stores till pay for them, so remember that every Free Comic Book Day and buy as well as get free stuff. Jenn picked up four books from the FCBD selection.

The first was Avatar, which didn't do much for me, but I am excited for the film sequels and the new park in Disney's Animal Kingdom. The next one was also Disney-related, a manga version of Descendants from Tokyopop that was interesting, but I prefer the movie. Next was Doctor Who from Titan Comics with a fun tale of four Doctors that I dug quite a bit.

The Bride's final choice was All-New Guardians of the Galaxy as a dessert to seeing the movie the night before. The comic wasn't bad, pretty much in line with the real series of the same name, but what really irked me was the second story of this Marvel FCBD book - Defenders. So Bendis is writing a book called Defenders featuring the Netflix version of that team, nothing I can do about that, I guess, it's typical Bendis, but do they have to use the original logo? To me that logo means the real Defenders – Doctor Strange, Hulk, Sub-Mariner, Nighthawk, Valkyrie, Hellcat, etc., not these guys. How about a new logo, huh?

Marvel had two other offering for the day, one a reading chronology for the "All-New, All-Different Marvel" that is basically a glossy and pretty book of ads for Marvel's trade paperbacks – in correct reading order to be sure – but still a book of ads. And then there's Secret Empire, a heart crushing addition to the Captain America as Hydra agent saga where the villain (Cap, as hard as that is to believe) defeats the Avengers by wielding the hammer of Thor. Yes, it defies logic, like all of this story. Thankfully it's followed by a sneak peek at Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man featuring Spidey, the Vulture, and the new Trapster. That's kinda fun at least.

For the most part, a fun Free Comic Book Day, thanks to Uncanny Heroes.

The Death of Superman Lives: What Happened?

This is very different from similar documentaries like Jodorowsky's Dune and Lost Soul in that it's not about a movie we wish had been made, but one we're glad was not made. The film in question featured Nicholas Cage as the titular character in Superman Lives, ironically retelling loosely the comics story of the death and return of Superman.

I have always loved Kevin Smith's spoken word epic here and here of his time working on this film. His experience, or his view of his experience, is hilarious and endlessly entertaining. The most intriguing parts in this documentary are the bits where Smith retells the tale while Jon Peters tells his side. Much denial, but the parts that sync up are interesting. I still believe Smith.

Interviews include those with Smith, Peters, the unlikely director Tim Burton, and many others. They're interspersed to create a tapestry detailing the history and demise of the Superman Lives project. And while I am usually dead set against messing with the source material (after all, the source material is what made the product marketable and worth making a movie of to begin with), I have to confess that Burton's vision is an intriguing one.

Just as the American 1998 Godzilla was a good giant monster movie, but a lousy Godzilla movie, so it would be with this vision - a good superhero movie, but a terrible Superman flick. That said, I was intrigued enough that I would probably have seen it had it been made, and possibly liked it as long as it wasn't Superman.

There was a lot of talk about the regenerative suit, the Thanagarian snare beast, preliminary sketches, great inside stuff. The potential cast is also discussed, one that included not just Nicholas Cage, but also Sandra Bullock as Lois Lane, Christopher Walken as Brainiac, and Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, a role he would eventually play wonderfully in Superman Returns.

I found the Brainiac designs the most intriguing, creepy as they came from the mind of Tim Burton, but intriguing. Jon Peters would certainly be pleased as one looked like the "Jonny Quest" eyeball spider with Brainiac's head on top. Freaky. I don't think I would have been happy to see this version of the Superman mythos, but I think I would have liked to have seen it at least once.