SyFy

Soon, very soon, the SciFi Channel will become SyFy. Not only the logo, the taglines and paychecks, but the URL for the website as well. They mean business.

The folks at the network want to make more money, and apparently you can't copyright or trademark the generic word 'scifi,' a term coincidentally originally coined by the late great Forrest J. Ackerman. So they have gone with the sound-a-like SyFy, and now they can make full and sole profits on SyFy t-shirts, thermoses and anything else they can think of. Here's the official press release.

Thanks be to marketing. If only Forrey had thought of that one all those years ago. Hmmm, maybe the new slogan should be "Imagine Greater... Profit..."

Quickies 8-31-2008

This Filthy World ~ This one-man show with cult movie writer and director John Waters was directed by Jeff Garlin. Basically Waters is just let loose on a stage and he talks, and talks, and talks. That’s not to disparage him at all, he’s absolutely mesmerizing, and his knowledge of film, both pop and obscure is unparalleled.

Among the subjects he touches on in this 86-minute extravaganza are film, books, teaching, Jackie O, his early movies, drugs, Michael Jackson, bears, capital punishment, Liz Renee, Divine, kids, juvenile delinquency, homophobes, fans, the mainstream, Baltimore and movies he’d like to make. He also talks a bit about Kenneth Anger, Andy Warhol and for those of us in the Philadelphia area, the infamous Uncle Ed.

My favorite quote from the show: ”Even Divine had his limits. The first time he met Richard Simmons he felt homophobic.” This is a must-see.

I Love Your Work ~ Does Giovanni Ribasi ever not put in an Oscar caliber performance? And does Jason Lee almost always shine in roles with just a touch of creepy in them? These two are just a couple from the superior cast that make this very slick piece on stalking, paparazzi, and the dark side of Hollywood such a great film. What it lacks in story and character it more than makes up for in brilliant direction and cinematography. I Love Your Work was co-written and directed by Adam Goldberg, of Hebrew Hammer fame, and is recommended.



Monster Ark ~ So symptomatic of what is wrong with most Saturday night movies on the SciFi Channel – faulty premise, cliché characters and a totally predictable plot. The only thing this one was lacking was Casper Van Dien.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry ~ After a few Adam Sandler films where he was almost bearable, now I get this. Just because the characters learn the error of their ways and side with the gay community at the end of the film does not excuse all the verbal hate crimes committed before that. Avoid this.

The Crippled Masters ~ It must be seen to be believed. Check the trailer below. The best part is watching the villain’s facial scar morph and move throughout the flick. I actually liked it, recommended.

The Other Side of the New Bionic Woman

I promised more on the new Bionic Woman, or more specifically on the crap going on behind the scenes. Here we go.

It's not just a matter of a show that worked before but the new innovators choosing to ignore what made the original successful. Not that that helps. No matter how you slice it, the original series was very successful, some say better than "The Six Million Dollar Man" from which it spun off from. Not only did it outlast it but in my opinion had more memorable episodes. Remember the fembots? How about the Alex 7000? The show even won an Emmy, where her male counterpart never did. And of course it never had the controversy this new version has had.

Let's start easy. There have been at least three pilots. One is good. Two is not bad, if the network has decided that changes in cast or plot should be made. But three? That's a bit odd, especially considering rumor stated that this series which was developed for the SciFi Channel was so good it should be kicked upstairs to NBC. If it was sooo good, why change it?

Now let's get deeper. The character of the Bionic Woman is iconic, especially in the gay community. It would seem, that along with fans of the original series this makes for a large starting fanbase, something needed if the series is indeed as different as it is. Why then, would you try to alienate that community?

Enter Isiah Washington:

http://timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=621886

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/09/07/AR2007090700719.html

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2007/09/will_the_gays_love_bionic_woma.html

And that's just the tip of that iceberg. Suffice it to say that all of these elements plus what I consider to be a crappy pilot that I saw add up to a big zero for this one. I might be proved wrong, but I won't be watching.

Feedback Vs. MegaSnake

The SciFi Channel has a rather dubious reputation for their made-for-TV Saturday night movies. They are just not that good, sometimes even laughingly bad. But then again, compared to the average episode of the now-canceled "Painkiller Jane" or the new (and in name only) "Flash Gordon," they're pretty good, and they also keep folks like Casper van Dien and Colin Ferguson employed.

Now normally I avoid these movies just as I would avoid the aforementioned "Jane" and "Flash," but this past weekend's offering, MegaSnake, advertised something of interest - Feedback. The wife and I are huge fans of the SciFi series "Who Wants to be a Superhero," so much so that the Bride even tried out for the show. Naturally, seeing a movie that reputedly featured Feedback, Matthew Atherton, the winner of that series' first season held interest, so we taped it for viewing last night.

To quote Joseph Conrad, "The horror... the horror..."

Not only was this the same old giant snake crap one could see almost any other Saturday night on SciFi but Feedback was only in this thing maybe three minutes tops. I think honestly he was in the commercials advertising this dog during any hour the previous week than he was in the whole movie. He had five lines. He showed the kids about electricity, said his tagline, poked the giant snake with a stick and then helped the kids get away. And then he ran away, never to be seen again.

In MegaSnake, Feedback is a superhero the same way Sir Robin is a knight.

Wow. I'm not getting these two hours back. And I'm never going to trust advertising on the SciFi Channel ever again.

Speaking of trust, I certainly hope this wasn't the movie Feedback was promised as part of his prize for "Who Wants to be a Superhero." On "Survivor" the winner gets a million bucks, on "Big Brother" it's half a million, but the prize for winning "Superhero" is the winner's own comic book from Dark Horse Comics and a movie on SciFi. Man, I hope MegaSnake's not it. If it is, Matthew, Comic Widows has a great attorney who'd love to talk with you.

Man-Thing

"MOVIE THING"

A Television Review of the film "Man-Thing" broadcast on the SciFi Channel.

Copyright © 2005, Glenn Walker

The film version of Man-Thing supposedly was made and meant for theatrical release, as I've just viewed it on the SciFi Channel, I would guess those plans fell through. Granted, the Man-Thing is no Spider-Man, Hulk or X-Men, but that doesn't meant the concept couldn't hold its own on the big screen, or does it?

My sister, a big SciFi Channel fan, and I have discussed the schedule for that network on weekends quite a bit. Weekends seem to be a dumping ground for the absolute worst Z-grade scifi and horror films currently being made. Most notorious for flicks about giant snakes, alien abductions and guest starring Kari Wuhrer and Billy Baldwin, this death slot of bad television is where they aired Man-Thing - Saturday night at nine PM, prime time.

In the comics, Man-Thing is something of a footnote for various reasons. The concept is one of the true coincidences in the comics world, where two major publishers have had roughly the same idea at the exact same time. There was the Vision and the Red Tornado, Crisis on Infinite Earths and Secret Wars, and Man-Thing and Swamp Thing.
Both Man-Thing and Swamp Thing were men that were by horrible consequences transformed into bog creatures, and they both debuted on the stands simultaneously. Marvel's Man-Thing, created by Steve Gerber (also of Howard the Duck, another fantastic character crucified and disemboweled by Hollywood), had decidedly less success than DC's Swamp Thing however.

Man-Thing also had a great tagline - "Whatever knows fear burns at the touch of the Man-Thing!" If only the stories and the characters matched that line or even halfway lived up to the hype. While Man-Thing lasted, riding the wave of early 1970s Marvel horror, it did make a mark and remains a fixture and fan favorite in today's comics. Appearances with such other obtuse characters like the Hulk, Howard the Duck and the Micronauts were memorable.

The Man-Thing's most notorious claim to fame however might be the dangerous double entendre it gained in the mid-1970s with a companion title. At the time, Marvel was publishing larger books with bigger stories and added reprints of most of its books, called Giant-Sized books. You guessed it, thus was born Giant-Size Man-Thing, still legendary to this day. Despite what some folks may think, the book was still about a swamp creature and had nothing to do with what you're thinking. Shame on you!

From Lions Gate and Marvel Productions, we now have the movie. Despite being made for theatrical release and having a slamming soundtrack, the film does have the stink of a Saturday night SciFi Channel offering. Badly written, no name actors and a sad, pitiful premise where a reasonable, simpler one would have worked better.
The cinematic Man-Thing is an eco-champion, preying on evil industrialists who pollute and corrupt nature. He's (it's?) also a monster in the most fundamental manner. Shambling about, growling and staying in the dark for most of the time to hide any shabby special effects, he takes out The Man and helps out the bayou natives and Earth-friendly folk. Here Man-Thing is definitely more Bigfoot than Swamp Thing when you come right down to it.

When we do actually do see Man-Thing, the face is pretty close to the comics with the three roots hanging down and the piercing red eyes. However, the rest of the body is a whole other thing, or, pun intended, Man-Thing. Too skinny and too many wild, apparently sentient, and very Dr. Octopus-like roots to do its bidding are the highlights of this Man-Thing.

The story was slow and contrived, and especially cliched. Prophecy from 1979 did it much better. Nice touch though having a character named Ploog, named after artist Mike Ploog who depicted the swamp creature back in the 1970s, it proves the folks in charge at least had clue about the source material.

This could have been good. Director Brett Leonard has had quite a few misses, but when he hits (the highly underrated cyberpunk thriller Virtuosity and the absolutely brilliant Shock to the System) he hits hard. Shame he didn't put that kind of effort into Man-Thing. In related comics news however, the writer of this one, Hans Rodionoff is also rumored to be working on a script for another 1970s Marvel horror, Werewolf by Night.

An R-rated version of Man-Thing debuts in DVD on June 14th. Now maybe if they make a sequel, and Sci-Fi is notorious for making sequels to movies that by every right under the sun shouldn't be made, maybe they'll call it Giant-Size Man-Thing.