Quickies 7-25-2017

Zoolander 2 ~ I hated Zoolander or at least I remember hating Zoolander.  Now I think I might want to give it a serious re-watch.  My mind on the subject has been changed.  Seeing the sequel, Zoolander 2, I understood what was being gone for. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the stupidity. While before I thought I was looking at a bad "Saturday Night Live" sketch that had gone on far too long, this time, I got the camp, and I saw the superhero parallels, at least in the sequel, and kinda loved it. And if nothing else, the opening gave me new respect for Justin Bieber, and that's saying a lot.

The BFG ~ This film adaptation of a Roald Dahl story is fun, but not as interesting as his other stuff, until they get to the giant meeting the Queen of England, and then it's great. Great fantasy that becomes great funny on a Monty Python scale. The kids will like it more than you will, but they won't get half the jokes. Fun for a rental.

The Wedding Planner ~ One of the terrible things about being in the hospital is that you will watch anything, because sometimes you either can't move or can't find the TV remote to change the channel. When this simple rom-com came on one night, I thought I was in for two hours of hell, but it wasn't half-bad. Predictable from start to finish, but I have to say I quite enjoyed this one… or maybe the IV was just full of good drugs.

Frankenhooker ~ I loved this movie when it first came out, thought it was hilarious, and bought the videotape when it came out. When I worked in a video store, I would push the button on the movie box when I walked by, and it would say, "Wanna date?" and "Got any money?" Hilarious. I saw it recently, the story of a deranged young man who brings his girlfriend back to life using body parts from dead chopped up prostitutes, and I'm sad to say – either I've grown up, or it doesn't hold up at all. I still think the talking box is funny though.

The Bastard Executioner

I loved Kurt Sutter's "Sons of Anarchy." Sure, it wasn't perfect - I wish I'd skipped the Ireland season, and of course the show went on one season too long - but I really dug it. The series was at the top of its game in storytelling and characterization, truly a pinnacle in epic television. So when I heard Sutter was doing a medieval series next, naturally my curiosity was piqued.

I have to be honest, I nearly turned the first episode of "The Bastard Executioner" off in the first minute. Before anything happens, before we see scenery or set, before a character takes action or utters a word, we get a history lesson. Enough to make me want to give up and turn off the television.

I have never seen so much history crammed into the first minute captions of a show before. I paused the episode and spent ten minutes on Google. Did I really need to know all this? Would there be a test? I was especially irritated because much of this could have been organically explained in the unfolding of the story, or in the mouth of a character should the writer be feeling particularly lazy.

I kept watching, and I'm glad I did. "The Bastard Executioner" is vibrant, vivid, and visceral. Had I turned it off I would have completely missed the nudity and extreme bloody violence that followed in the second minute. If you ask me, screw the history, you should have started with that. You definitely had my attention now - but you could have lost it much too easily.

The premise follows several storylines and characters as cultures and classes clash between wars in Middle Ages Wales. That said, much like Sutter's "Sons of Anarchy," it's a big soap opera writ large in new circumstances with an epic scale. Rather than California motorcycle clubs, it's 14th century Welsh rebellions. That said, it might be a bit much for the usual historical romance crowd.

"The Bastard Executioner" is bloody and violent, yes, sometimes ranging from the horrific hide your eyes type to the silly Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight type, but either way, it's graphic. It is however also engaging and surprising, with just a little bit of that I don't want to know "Rome" and "Spartacus" realism thrown in for good measure. I'm not sure I can recommend it for everyone, but it's definitely worth a look.

Cheech & Chong's Animated Movie!

I was never a big fan of the Cheech & Chong movies (or stoner movies in general, not being a stoner I guess), but by the time I was old enough to get most of the jokes, I was already well versed in their comedy routines. In the Philadelphia area, Cheech & Chong were staples of Sunday nights on Dr. Demento and WYSP's Comedy Hour.

One of my favorites was "Earache My Eye," a skit that included a song by 'Alice Bowie' that I always wished was longer. Much like the Richard Pryor "Wanted" album, the first three Steve Martin albums, and all the words to Monty Python and the Holy Grail - these routines were committed to memory by myself and my friends, and composed probably forty percent of our total junior high school conversations.

Such is the legacy of Cheech & Chong. These days Cheech Marin is more known for his acting, especially his tour de force in From Dusk Till Dawn, and Chong is probably known better as poor Tommy Chong, because of his run-ins with the US legal system, as opposed to his recent fame on "Dancing with the Stars." This feature, Cheech & Chong's Animated Movie!, is a throwback to those simpler, funnier times back in junior high.

This feature is a pretty simple concept, old Cheech & Chong comedy routines animated. At first it reminds me of the Cokelogic animations of Opie & Anthony radio bits, but these are better and much funnier. All the classics are here like "Let's Make a Dope Deal," "Ralph and Herbie," "Dave's Not Here," "Sister Mary Elephant," and even Alice Bowie. Fun and nostalgic, bring your own munchies.

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution ~ Combining two themes I've been writing about here and elsewhere this year, I look at a Sherlock Holmes movie from the 1970s. Having never seen this one before, all I remember of hearing about it was the much ado about Holmes' drug use. That's not that big a deal however as it's from the books, and therefore canon.

The film sets its tone immediately with the opening credits, which reminded me unfortunately of those of Monty Python and the Holy Grail from the year before. This was to be a comedy then. The story purports that Moriarty's evil was a drug induced paranoid delusion of the detective's, and that he needed the help of Sigmund Freud to get well. In hypnosis sessions, the 'true' origins of Sherlock Holmes are revealed.

The cast is filled with major star power including Robert Duvall as Watson with an impossible English accent. Alan Arkin as Freud, the underrated Charles Gray as Mycroft (a role he would play again in the PBS Jeremy Brett Holmes series), and Nicol Williamson as the simpering, almost imbecilic Holmes are all brilliant, and that's not even mentioning Sir Lawrence Olivier as the maligned Prof. Moriarty. It's not the way I want to see my Holmes, but there's no denying the great performance.

The film is based on the first of three Sherlock Holmes books by author and director Nicholas Meyer, who also received an Oscar nom for the screenplay. He is obviously a huge Holmes fan, and all three of the books were designed to fill in the blanks of the detective's life, as well as dismiss some of the canon he felt didn't quite fit. Sadly, the later included Moriarty.

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution is a beautifully shot, wickedly performed, and well designed mystery adventure, well worth watching, but it's not the kind of Sherlock Holmes story I want to see. I guess, in the end, I'm a traditionalist.

Tangled

Tangled ~ Much like Disney's last animated feature, The Princess and the Frog that re-imagined the fairy tale of "The Frog Prince," Tangled gives "Rapunzel" a new spin. And while very little of the film has the energy or the verve of the preview featuring the music of Pink, it is still very good.

Leads Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi, though not most folks' choice of a male lead, hand in terrific performances. Levi, especially proving the magic of animation is about voice work, not appearances. Character actor Donna Murphy rounds out the singing cast as the heavy, with Alan Menken doing the music this time out.

The songs are formula unfortunately and go in all the right places and do everything these types of songs have done for Disney songs for almost two decades. They're almost interchangeable, which again, is not to say they are not good. One tune, "I've Got a Dream," stands out far above the others in its difference above all else. It's an almost Monty Python-ic madcap piece that brings more than a few laughs with it.


All in all, a great entry for Disney' fiftieth animated feature, and their first CGI one without Pixar. We've seen it before, but it's still worth seeing again, ya know? Terrific holiday fare for the kids, and the adults, recommended.

Cursed by a Slow News Day

Apparently, Clay Aiken is gay. I think most of us already knew this, and those who didn't suspected, or should have suspected. I love the guy, rooted for him on "American Idol," laughed at him in "Spamalot," and wish him nothing but the best in his post-closet life.

What bothers me is how is this news? Haven't we moved past this kind of stuff? If tomorrow is also a slow news day, will Barack Obama announce he's an Africa-American? Again, how is this news?

Strange Case

The Strange Case of the End of Civilsation as We Know It ~ back in the 1970s when PBS realized just how popular Monty Python was they also started to show this under-an-hour long ‘movie’ starring John Cleese as the incompetent grandson of Sherlock Holmes. As a huge Python fan in my early teens I thought this was hilarious. Unfortunately the years have not been kind. Somehow the repetitive jokes, Dr. Watson with a bionic nose and multiple impressions of TV detectives of the time (a la Murder by Death) just don’t do it for me any more. Other derivative Python projects like the Rutles are much better, and much funnier.