Fantastic Four 2015

Fantastic Four ~ As a few of my friends have mentioned, like Andy Burns at Biff Bam Pop! and Skott Stotland at The Nerd Signal, this movie wasn't as bad as a lot of folks have been saying - but that said, it is still pretty bad.

Up front, this troubled production from co-writer/director Josh Trank is not a Fantastic Four movie in the traditional sense, nor is it any kind of superhero movie either. In the same sense that his highly acclaimed Chronicle was an anti-superhero movie, so is his Fantastic Four. Taking its cues loosely from the Ultimate Fantastic Four comics rather than the Stan Lee and Jack Kirby original stories, this is a tale of Reed Richards, played by the much-hated-in-some-circles Miles Teller. This socially awkward young genius is given the resources to build his invention, a dimensional teleporter, which has consequences that eventually transform his friends and colleagues into …something else.

Just as it sounds, this is more science fiction than superhero, and there's a little bit of horror here as well with overtones of the 1980s version of The Fly thrown in for good measure. Comparing it to the comics or the characters therein is a silly exercise at this point, because let's face it, Trank didn't even go there. Any resemblance to those sources appear to have been added later by the studio. Much like Chronicle, Trank appears to have gone his own way.

The characters, save Teller's Reed, are two-dimensional, their only personality being that overlaid subconsciously by viewers who know them from the comics. They are one note and we don't care about them. Reed on the other hand fulfills his destiny as a screw-up, perhaps more blatantly here than in the comics, and really engenders no sympathy beyond that. The acting is minimal, the special effects are in places, well done and elsewhere cartoony.

I have to say I liked Kate Mara better as Sue Storm than I did Jessica Alba in 2005 and 2007, and I'm one of the few apparently that liked those movies. With all the hubbub about the character's race change, Michael B. Jordan comes off rather well, but the Human Torch special effects while invoking the comics imagery look like bad animation after a while. The Thing is an effective, yet disturbing cross between the Nome King in Return to Oz and the rock creature in Galaxy Quest. Only Toby Kebbel's Doom, before transformation, radiates any real charisma, but that gets fixed pretty quickly.

Not only does much of the cast lack charisma, they also lack chemistry. While romantic intentions are hinted at, nothing is done, nor is it advanced. While I had been following along the science fiction story for the first hour or so of the movie, there is a point where it all falls apart, and that's where Doom returns from the other world - a weak pastiche of the Negative Zone called Planet Zero. Suddenly Doom is the bad guy, unmotivated, he is just evil. Cartoon fights ensue, and I checked out.

Again, Doom is inserted into the Fantastic Four origin. And again badly. He emerged from the other world covered in metal without a mouth, an actor, one of the more likable in the flick, now unable to act. The Thing and Human Torch are given similar handicaps. I found this surprising as one of the tropes of superhero movies (of which this is not) is the constant removal of masks so the actor can emote or show off their good looks. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Tobey Maguire.

There is one nice touch, a minor Easter egg, in the movie. The antagonist in the movie other than Doom, the government suit who tries to use the FF's powers for his own bidding is named Harvey Elder. Sharp-eyed hardcore FF fans know that this is the real name of the super-villain the Mole Man. Also look for the Deadpool trailer before the film, if you're looking for more Marvel content. There's not much, even Stan Lee stayed away from this one.

Unlike other Marvel-connected movies (although it should be noted, as a Fox film, this is not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe), there is no after-credits or mid-credits stinger. As a matter of fact, I noticed that once the movie proper was over, people could not wait to get out of the theater. I did learn one surprising thing from the credits however. Minimalist composer Philip Glass (a favorite) did some of the score. I did like it and will have to go back and listen to it some more.

Did I hate it? Certainly not as much as my friend Ray Cornwall who eviscerates it on the latest episode of The GAR! Podcast, but I didn't like it. This was not a good movie, nor was it a good superhero movie, and it was most definitely not a good Fantastic Four movie. Not recommended. Wait for Netflix or cable if you must see it.

Ray Manzarek 1939-2013

Amidst a whirlwind of false death rumors about the man, it turns out that music legend, and former member of the Doors, Ray Manzarek, has passed away. In a German hospital from cancer, the founder and keyboardist for the Doors is dead at 74.

This is a gut punch to me as strong as the passings of John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, or Warren Zevon. Ray Manzarek is a voice from my youth. I wasn't cognizant for the first coming of the Doors, but their revival in the late 1970s, due to many factors, was strong in my formation.

There was AOR FM radio looking for music to play and not wanting to touch disco or new wave or punk, and began to mine the sixties for music, delivering the Doors to the forefront once again. There was the book, that everyone in my suburban white drug culture high school read - "No One Here Gets Out Alive" by Jerry Hopkins and Danny Sugarman - that made a legend of the late Jim Morrison.

There was, and is, some hardcore realist inside me that knows that Morrison was just a sullen alcoholic bully, but it was Ray Manzarek that created the legend, wove the tale, built the rock god, and manifested the Lizard King from the ground up. Whatever Jim Morrison was, Ray Manzarek made him.

I remember listening to Jim Ladd and his Sunday night "Innerview" interviewing Ray Manzarek multiple times, as he told apocryphal and supernatural tales of Jim Morrison, building the legend word by word. Manzarek talked of the Native American shaman who possessed Morrison as a child, the concept that he might not be dead, and all sorts of fantastic stories of the legendary Doors, fact and fiction. And he did it all the finesse of a master radio manipulator. Ray Manzarek would've made Orson Welles jealous with these performances.


For decades, Manzarek kept the infamous Doors alive, both on radio, and in sales, as he maintained his own career as well. He created a wonderful rendition of "Carmina Burana" with Philip Glass, as well as producing several albums for LA punk band X. He also worked with Echo and the Bunnymen and Iggy Pop among others, and even toured with Ian Asbury of The Cult in place of Morrison in a version of the Doors.


His charismatic personality, his fabulous storytelling ability, and his unique keyboard creations will live on for decades to come. We have truly lost one of the rock and roll legends. Long live Ray Manzarek and the Doors. Hopefully he's jamming with the Lizard King right now.

Watchmen Sneak Peek

The second trailer to the Watchmen film is now available.

This time we get to hear the voices of the characters, the infamous opening sequence, and closer looks at the Owlship and Rorshach's inkblot-morphing mask, all set to a Philip Glass-like score.

See it here.

Watchmen, barring further legal troubles, opens march 2009.