BUGGING OUT

A Video Review of "Godzilla vs. Megaguirus" also known as "Gojira X Megagirasu" or "Gojira tai Megagirasu: Jii Shometsu Sahusen" or "Godzilla vs. Megaguirus: The G Annihilation Stragedy"

Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker

Coming after Godzilla 2000 one should hope Godzilla vs. Megagirus would be better. It is, it’s a breath of fresh air. There is hope for the Godzilla franchise after all.

The Godzilla suit used is the same one from the previous movie which of course was a big departure from tradition. He was green which contrary to popular belief was the first time Godzilla had ever been that color. He was always a bluish charcoal gray. The new look is also more reptilian and snaggle-toothed in the face and his back spikes are more jagged than usual and prismatic in color. It’s a different look but at least it’s better than the American version from 1998.

The opening sequence is both brilliant and bothersome. This new G is refilmed into scenes from 1954’s Gojira. The black and white scratchy film is a nice touch. Director Masaaki Tezuka seems to be aping many classic shots Godzilla destruction from previous films in this opening.

Japanese defense forces create a super weapon called the Dimension Tide to use against Godzilla. It creates a black hole from which nothing can escape. Unfortunately while testing the weapon they mutate a giant dragonfly thought extinct. How’s that for dumb luck?

It begins to multiply. These bugs -the meganula- flood the city in order to multiply more. They begin to swarm over Godzilla and feed on his radioactivity which they return to their queen. The queen further mutates into a super giant meganula, a monster called Megaguirus. The new monster seeks out its radioactive food supply on its own, hilarity ensues.

The monster battle is hampered by frequent slow motion interrupting the flow and bugging (pun intended) the heck out of me. It was however an unexpected treat to see Godzilla against a different type of opponent. Megaguirus moves very fast and uses its stinger to attack and feed. G on the other hand has a few new tricks in his repertoire as well. He grabs the big dragonfly with his tail and also uses his back spines to slice a limb off the bug.

Other highlights include one particularly cool scene has humans sneaking up on a swimming Godzilla in order to plant a transmitter on his enormous back. Godzilla vs. Megaguirus is much better than I would have thought and much much better than Godzilla 2000.

THE GRITTY TRUTH

A Video Review of "True Grit" (1969)

Copyright 2002 Glenn Walker

John Wayne got an Oscar for this one but it was obviously for body of work and not for this particular performance. True Grit is not the Duke's best but it's not his worst either. Wayne plays a cartoon essentially as U.S. Marshal and bounty hunter ‘Rooster’ Cogburn. He's the grizzled old gunfighter who knows his stuff and bothered no end by these young 'uns who think they know better.

The story has city girl Mattie Ross hiring Cogburn and a Texas Ranger to hunt down the men who killed her father in dangerous Indian country. This was based on the Charlie Portis novel and directed by Henry Hathaway a pro of various genres who had been working since the silents.

Glen Campbell as Texas Ranger Le Boeuf is saccharine sweet ‘til the end where we get to see his true colors in a frightening sequence in a rattlesnake infested cave. Dennis Hopper, Jeff Corey and Robert Duvall as some of the bad guys are good (or is that bad?) as well. Blink and you’ll miss Jay (Tonto) Silverheels as the hanged man.

That damned Kim Darby, oh boy. She’s near perfect as Mattie Ross. But I can't think of how many movies she's ruined for me but her whining here is a triumph of character. If the whining is her best quality no wonder so many people rooted for the gremlins to kill her in the made for TV Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

The guns in each hand and reins in his teeth scene is phenomenal and one of Hollywood's most amazing images. To me it defines the John Wayne tough-guy-never-give-up policy. Also amazing is the fact that Wayne against the wishes of the director did his own stunts. Other trivia abounds in True Grit. Supposedly Wayne chased ‘that damned hippie’ Hopper around the lot with a loaded gun.

The film features one of Elmer Bernstein’s finest scores. That and the sweeping western landscapes deserve equal billing. The majestic scenery aided by Lucien Ballard’s cinematography is breathtaking.

This truly a classic not to be missed. Give a pass to both its sequel ‘Rooster’ Cogburn and its 1978 TV remake but definitely don’t miss the original. True Grit is probably one of the best westerns ever made.


This is a revised version of a review that appeared earlier elsewhere.

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE

A Video Review of "Shrek"

Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker

Remember the old Warner Brothers cartoons? When you were a kid you'd laugh at the antics of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig and then as an adult you'd laugh for wholly different reasons. They worked on two different levels. This is what Shrek is like.

Shrek was one of the first projects from DreamWorks which included the former CEO of Disney. This might be the reason for all the shots at Disney classics in this flick. The whole film is one big nasty twist on fairy tales, Disney’s stock in trade. For any hardcore Disney fans the in-jokes will either piss you off or be utterly hilarious. You decide.

This story of an ogre blackmailed into rescuing and delivering a princess to a corrupt ruler is nearly secondary to the touching love story. It’s all quite unbelievable when you consider none of it is real. I’ve seen more than my share of animation, computer or not, and it’s rare that you can care for the characters. Hell, it’s rare in regular movies.

The voice cast is excellent against all odds. Michael Myers’ ‘humor’ runs hot and cold with me and here using his Fat Bastard/ Scotch Tape store Scottish voice he’s actually entertaining. John Lithgow who I haven’t liked since he took on comedy is also good. Speaking of comedy I have to say Eddie Murphy is funnier as a computer animated donkey that he’s been in real life for over a decade.

I really enjoyed Shrek and was looking forward to the sequel. It's a shame that from all indications Shrek 2 is going to be a rift on the horrible Meet the Parents. Regardless Shrek is a classic.

How Ron Howard Stole My Christmas

A Video Review of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

Copyright 2002 Glenn Walker

In the immortal words of the Pet Shop Boys, "What have I done, what have I done, what have I done to deserve this?" What sick twisted demon from hell possessed Ron Howard and made him create this big budget major motion picture based on the wonderful Dr. Seuss work? Surely this could only be the work of the devil.

The 1966 half-hour cartoon by Chuck Jones narrated by Boris Karloff with that song by Thul (Tony the Tiger) Ravenscroft is perfect. Why was there a need to do this?

Jim Carrey in his hideous make-up as the Grinch is nowhere near as scary as the citizens of Whoville who all resemble the monsters from "The Twilight Zone" episode Eye of the Beholder. Ron Howard made this for his kids? Why haven't the authorities taken those kids away for cruel and unusual treatment?

The real story has very few characters but apparently the writers felt this had to be fleshed out and added a dozen or so irrelevant characters including the Grinch's old girlfriend (hello?). Screenwriters Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman (who also had a hand in destroying the big budget motion picture version of the brilliant Wild Wild West) should have their pencils broken, their typewriters smashed and their word processors melted down.

The ending is horrendous. Apparently Christmas doesn't come in a box, it's not about giving at all. It's all about money money money, materialism and greed, gimme gimme gimme. I hate Jim Carrey. Damn you, Ron Howard. This is easily one of the worst three movies ever made.

And take off the frigging hat.

Rating -*

***** Must see
**** Worth seeing
*** So you have eight dollars you want to throw away…
** Is Adam Sandler in this mess?
* A bullet would be quicker.

The above previously appeared at Project Popcorn.

Satan Met a Lady

STRIKE TWO

A Video Review of Satan Met a Lady also known as The Man in the Black Hat

Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker

This was the second try at making a film version of Dashiell Hammett’s classic The Maltese Falcon. The first attempt was the wonderful Dangerous Female from 1931. This 1936 version features a young Bette Davis in a story where the names and plot devices have been changed to prevent any confusion with a really good film.

At first glance Satan Met a Lady is a lark. It’s almost a tongue-in-cheek parody of the genre. It is a lot of fun, yes, but more than meets the eye in some places. Perhaps the best way to describe this one is The Maltese Falcon meets Bringing Up Baby. And if that sounds good to you, you’re expecting too much.

The story, which might sound slightly familiar, has private investigator Ted Shayne hired by a Valerie Purvis to follow a Madam Barabbas who in turn hires him to locate a jeweled ram’s horn. Substitute some names and stuff and you got The Maltese Falcon. Hammett even got a credit as in ‘based on a book by.’

William Warren as Shayne is no Humphrey Bogart and he definitely ain’t no Sam Spade. He is highly entertaining however with an almost Clark Gable-esque slickness. Warren was renowned as one of the best villain actors of the 1930s. Bette Davis is adequate but not doing her Bette Davis best. Blink and you’ll miss Arthur Treacher also collecting a check just like Miss Davis.

The highlight of Satan is Marie Wilson as Shayne’s secretary Miss Murgatroyd. She is an absolute delight. Marie is such the perfect ditsy blonde that she puts rank amateurs like Marilyn Monroe and Suzanne Somers to shame.

Satan Met a Lady lives up to its literary origins in a few places but not many. This is only worth watching for its novelty value and of course Marie Wilson.