STANDABLE
A Video Review of "Big Daddy"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
Over time I have developed a reputation for hating Adam Sandler. This is not necessarily so. Having perused the Adam Sandler video library (Oh my God, there is an Adam Sandler video library) I have discovered one or two films that don't make me retch.
Big Daddy is one of these - it's not that bad. First of all it features Adam Sandler's real voice instead of one of his 'funny' ones. This has a lot to do with it. I mean, I'm sure crap like The Waterboy (with one of his 'funny' voices) is playing on a loop in Hell.
The presence of Joey Adams helps here as does the chemistry between Sandler and five year old Cole (and Dylan) Sprouse although I've always suspected he related better to five year olds. Even though there are scenes played completely for your average Sandler toilet humor there is a genuine bond between the two and it makes you actually start to root for the hapless Sandler.
It's standable if your legs are broken and the TV remote is lost - but only if it's not followed by The Waterboy.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Saturday, August 23, 2003
… OOOH, WE GOT MORE THAN FINGERED…
A Video Review of "Freddy Got Fingered"
Copyright 2002 Glenn Walker
Tom Green. Hmmmmm. Adam Sandler is actually watchable in comparison. I liked Road Trip and I loved Charlie's Angels. I could stand Tom Green in those flicks. This made me want to puke.
Drew Barrymore (I love you Drew but how did you stand being married to this mutant??) had to be in it because she was married to this freak at the time. Anthony Michael Hall, Harland Williams and Julie Haggarty have never really been known for their film choices. But what the hell is Rip Torn doing here??? I can only guess he has some sick twisted dark secret that Tom Green has photographic proof of.
Marisa Coughlan may be going places, she shines as the girlfriend but her career (if she has one) will always be scarred by this role. She has the funniest line, but unfortunately the most self-debilitating and tasteless.
Think. Imagine the most tasteless things that can be filmed in an R-rated movie. It's here. And it will make you sick or angry. If you see this on sale at you local video store, buy it immediately, it will make an excellent tape to record "Friends" and "The West Wing" on when you're not home. Rating: *
***** Must see
**** Worth seeing
*** So you have eight dollars you want to throw away…
** Is Adam Sandler in this mess?
* A bullet would be quicker.
The above previously published at
Project: Popcorn
http://www.whitevioletpictures.com/popcorn/
For more of my movie reviews check out:
Comic Widows at
http://www.comicwidows.com
or the Internet Movie Database at
http://www.imdb.com
or Yahoo! Movies at
http://movies.yahoo.com
Contact me at
monsura2@yahoo.com
A Video Review of "Freddy Got Fingered"
Copyright 2002 Glenn Walker
Tom Green. Hmmmmm. Adam Sandler is actually watchable in comparison. I liked Road Trip and I loved Charlie's Angels. I could stand Tom Green in those flicks. This made me want to puke.
Drew Barrymore (I love you Drew but how did you stand being married to this mutant??) had to be in it because she was married to this freak at the time. Anthony Michael Hall, Harland Williams and Julie Haggarty have never really been known for their film choices. But what the hell is Rip Torn doing here??? I can only guess he has some sick twisted dark secret that Tom Green has photographic proof of.
Marisa Coughlan may be going places, she shines as the girlfriend but her career (if she has one) will always be scarred by this role. She has the funniest line, but unfortunately the most self-debilitating and tasteless.
Think. Imagine the most tasteless things that can be filmed in an R-rated movie. It's here. And it will make you sick or angry. If you see this on sale at you local video store, buy it immediately, it will make an excellent tape to record "Friends" and "The West Wing" on when you're not home. Rating: *
***** Must see
**** Worth seeing
*** So you have eight dollars you want to throw away…
** Is Adam Sandler in this mess?
* A bullet would be quicker.
The above previously published at
Project: Popcorn
http://www.whitevioletpictures.com/popcorn/
For more of my movie reviews check out:
Comic Widows at
http://www.comicwidows.com
or the Internet Movie Database at
http://www.imdb.com
or Yahoo! Movies at
http://movies.yahoo.com
Contact me at
monsura2@yahoo.com
Friday, August 22, 2003
IT NEVER LETS UP
A Video Review of "John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
John Carpenter rarely disappoints when it comes to the action genre but sometimes it's stuff we've seen before. This time though it's a little more obvious than usual. John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars is a reworking of Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13 just on Mars. It never denies what it is - a straight ahead action suspense flick - and at that game it is phenomenal.
In the future cops and criminals trapped in seemingly deserted Mars settlement are stalked and hunted by barbaric humans possessed by the spirits of evil maniacal ultraviolent Martians. They fight their way out. Chaos ensues. The story is simple and the action and suspense never lets up long enough to allow you to think about how cliched or nonsensical it is. This is a good thing. Other than we've seen it before the plot suffers from one major flaw. It is told in flashback so before it happens we know how it ends. That in itself is disappointing.
Natasha Henstridge is an adequate action heroine but it's a real joy to see Pam Grier back in that saddle. Natasha suffers in the shadow of the real action mistress. The men involved are no slouches either. The Transporter's Jason Statham is an excellent counterpoint and interesting sidekick to Henstridge and rapper Ice Cube is dangerous but heroic and sympathetic criminal Desolation Jones.
As usual Carpenter does the electronic score. Perfectly reflecting the pace and energy of the film I think this is one of his best since They Live or The Fog. Like the action the music never lets up. The make-up is a top notch nightmare of the pierced generation as the humans once possessed have a penchant for 'interesting' body adornment.
There are little details that make the story enjoyable like the fact that Mars is ruled by a matriarchy. The intricacies of this are never fully explored but there's not much time for philosophy in this flick. We never really do find out why the bad guys are bad but that's okay. I kind of like the whole mystery of an undecipherable alien race.
See it for the action and forget that it seems so damned familiar.
Rating ****
***** Must see
**** Worth seeing
*** So you have eight dollars you want to throw away…
** Is Adam Sandler in this mess?
* A bullet would be quicker.
The above previously appeared in a slightly different form at
Project Popcorn
http://www.whitevioletpictures.com/popcorn/
Thursday, August 21, 2003
PERFORMANCE OVER PLOT
A Video Review of "Two Seconds"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
According to the opening of this 1932 classic after a man is zapped in the electric chair the brain still functions for a full two seconds - long enough for a man's life to flash before his eyes. That's the premise here as we see riveter Edward G. Robinson's descent into darkness in his last two seconds.
It begins with roommates Edward G. and Preston Foster whose camaraderie would make any 1980s buddy movie jealous. They spend their days working on skyscrapers and their nights double-dating and betting on the horses. When Foster blows off a date Edward G. ends up in the clutches of dime-a-dance girl Vivienne Osborne and eventually marries her in a drunken night on the town. Later arguing over Osborne at work Robinson accidentally knocks Foster off the building in a scene deserving of Vertigo. The following depression finally leads to murder.
Directed by Mervyn LeRoy and based on the Elliott Lester play this cliched story is elevated by the brilliant performances of the cast. Everyone even Edward G. Robinson who seems over the top at points is amazing here. This film is a nice time capsule into the 1930s and full of great acting. Check it out.
A Video Review of "Two Seconds"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
According to the opening of this 1932 classic after a man is zapped in the electric chair the brain still functions for a full two seconds - long enough for a man's life to flash before his eyes. That's the premise here as we see riveter Edward G. Robinson's descent into darkness in his last two seconds.
It begins with roommates Edward G. and Preston Foster whose camaraderie would make any 1980s buddy movie jealous. They spend their days working on skyscrapers and their nights double-dating and betting on the horses. When Foster blows off a date Edward G. ends up in the clutches of dime-a-dance girl Vivienne Osborne and eventually marries her in a drunken night on the town. Later arguing over Osborne at work Robinson accidentally knocks Foster off the building in a scene deserving of Vertigo. The following depression finally leads to murder.
Directed by Mervyn LeRoy and based on the Elliott Lester play this cliched story is elevated by the brilliant performances of the cast. Everyone even Edward G. Robinson who seems over the top at points is amazing here. This film is a nice time capsule into the 1930s and full of great acting. Check it out.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
ARABS ON THE ICE
A Video Review of "Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
The third of Ray Harryhausen's Sinbad movies is the most formulaic and the weakest yet just as exciting as the others.
This time Sinbad is the pretty boy son of the Duke, Patrick Wayne. He is flanked by former Bond girl and not yet medicine woman Jane Seymour as well as former "Doctor Who" Patrick Troughton. Sinbad is again stalked at sea while on a quest and is searching this time to cure a prince of being a baboon. The climax is in the frozen north - a great place for Arabs.
Again the true stars are Ray Harryhausen's "Dynamation" creations. This time we are treated to demons early on, Minaton, a giant walrus and a saber tooth tiger. A weak outing for Harryhausen.
Besides, Arabs on the ice is a joke worthy of Mel Brooks, not a fantasy film.
A Video Review of "Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger"
Copyright 2003 Glenn Walker
The third of Ray Harryhausen's Sinbad movies is the most formulaic and the weakest yet just as exciting as the others.
This time Sinbad is the pretty boy son of the Duke, Patrick Wayne. He is flanked by former Bond girl and not yet medicine woman Jane Seymour as well as former "Doctor Who" Patrick Troughton. Sinbad is again stalked at sea while on a quest and is searching this time to cure a prince of being a baboon. The climax is in the frozen north - a great place for Arabs.
Again the true stars are Ray Harryhausen's "Dynamation" creations. This time we are treated to demons early on, Minaton, a giant walrus and a saber tooth tiger. A weak outing for Harryhausen.
Besides, Arabs on the ice is a joke worthy of Mel Brooks, not a fantasy film.
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